Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
77:03 – 88:47… a cop and he could still get that movie. I actually agree that I think 85, 86 is his apex. What is over the top? 87? That's 87? Yeah. See, here's why it's his apex mountain. Because he, not only is he the biggest, I think he's the biggest star in the world in 85 for movies. He has so much juice that his next two movies are Cobra, which I, we could talk about that plot for five hours. Sure. I still don't know, I don't know who the evil gang was. We're banging axes together. Yeah. I don't know what their incentive was. And then over the top, which is an arm wrestling movie about divorce. Those were his next two …
The whole segment, as transcribed
You're in the middle of two franchises that you created. And then, Bill, as you know, he tried to create another one with Cobra. And that was going to be a third franchise where he's a cop and he could still get that movie. I actually agree that I think 85, 86 is his apex. What is over the top? 87? That's 87? Yeah. See, here's why it's his apex mountain. Because he, not only is he the biggest, I think he's the biggest star in the world in 85 for movies. He has so much juice that his next two movies are Cobra, which I, we could talk about that plot for five hours. Sure. I still don't know, I don't know who the evil gang was. We're banging axes together. Yeah. I don't know what their incentive was. And then over the top, which is an arm wrestling movie about divorce. Those were his next two movies. So how can you have more juice than that? It's pretty good. I know you put Eddie Murphy, you give him a couple, a two-year spot as the number one. But this is nipping at the heels, I think. Yeah. So Eddie didn't make a movie in 85. So I think Stallone grabbed the belt. I don't know. It's a good battle. Cold War, Apex Mountain? Or would you go with the Cuban Missile Crisis? Yeah. Adlai Stevenson and JFK just working through that thing. Terrifying. I also like the movie War Games as it pertains to that. But I think this is close in terms of movies, for sure. What's a better Cold War movie than this? Like Red Dawn, maybe, would actually come to the United States? I would say Red Dawn. You said it ended the Cold War. It was not looked on favorably in the Soviet Union, right? This movie? Right. Made them mad. Portrayed. Yeah. Well, they couldn't believe that some American movie had them rooting for Rocky at the end. They were like, what the fuck? I think it got banned in Russia. I still think Cuban Missile Crisis. Dolph Ongren, yes. Survivor. I would say Rocky III for them. Because Eye of the Tiger was a phenomenon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's got to be Survivor. This is a good one. Warner Wolf. It's got to be yes, right? Sal, as you said, he was iconic locally. And was the guy who really paved the way for people to accept wrestling in a lot of ways. He was the first guy to play the clips. Let's go to the videotape. He had the Warner Wolf show. Oh, that's the guy who said, let's go to the videotape? Let's go to the videotape. Oh, I didn't know that. I know that guy. Oh, he's a legend. Oh, that's cool. Okay. Barry Tompkins was also calling fights for HBO during the beginning of the Tyson era at the time. Because they didn't bring Lampley in yet. So this has to be his Apex Mountain. Vince DiColo, definitely. Sit-ups off the ceiling. Apex Mountain, Kyle? Well, I would ask Sal, you pointed out the sit-ups earlier. There's two. There's one where he's coming down the hayloft when Pauly's holding onto his feet. And then there's those amazing table sit-ups where he's holding onto the side of the table. I like the hayloft sit-ups. The ones you were referring to, which one were they, Sal? I had the indoors with the fire in the background. Inside a barn, they have a fire. Inside the barn, right. Yeah, exactly. That's a good idea. How about your sit-ups? Is this Apex Mountain for sit-ups? Yeah, I think so. So yeah, fire in the barn, I hadn't even thought about that. That might not be a good idea. It's the equivalent of Tony Soprano shooting a big pussy in a boat and now making a hole in the boat and they're in the ocean. Like 10 times. Yes, exactly. It's funny. There is a wow factor with Stallone in this movie that, you know, like Van Damme in Bloodsport. Sure. When he has that scene when he's on the balcony and he's just doing a split and it's like, if I lean over two inches, I just fall to my death. And he's doing his like, you know, mind yoga stuff. And you're like, wow, that was amazing. The Stallone sit-ups are like that. And this really is like, wow, that's just incredible stuff by Stallone. And that's only like a minute after Van Damme pulls down his maroon briefs to show his perfectly tanned ass. Like he's just, he's eating up scenery right then. And Stallone does look good. He's got the Rambo body. He shot the first blood body still just came right into it. It looks amazing. Yeah, that's great. My son asks, my son thinks the Russian national anthem is like secretly the best national anthem. Is this the apex mountain for the Russian national anthem? Because they play like the whole one. They play the whole song. Or would you go with like a Nikolai Volkov with the Iron Sheik? What would you go with, Sal? I think it was a year or two earlier, Nikolai Volkov and the Iron Sheik won the titles from, was it Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo? And you would hear Nikolai Volkov. That's probably it. Unfortunately, it would get cut off a lot. And then the Iron Sheik would grab the mic and say, Russia, number one. Iran, number one. USA. And he would spit. There's a couple other better ones, though. I think, first of all, in the original Nintendo ice hockey, when you would play the USSR, they would play the national anthem. And, punt for Red October, there's a glorious scene where they sing it. And Scottish Sean Connery is like, let them sing. It's a beautiful scene in the submarine, too. All right. So maybe not. Wet Blanket Sports Movie Wives? I'm going to say yes. You can't win. It's suicide. Yeah. What's underrated, Bill, is that she spends the whole first act of the movie also whining at Apollo for taking the fight. Right. And saying, why are you doing this? Now, of course, she was right, but that gets swept under the rug because there's so much heat on Rocky. She is more of a wet blanket than Boof is in Teen Wolf. And that is like Mount Rushmore territory. I don't care what the people on Twitter say. It's the little things with that. When she walks away from the table, when Apollo is pleading his case, he gets up as a sign of respect. There's a gentleman. He gets up. Right. A gentleman. The other two, of course, Pauly's not going to get up. But pause. There you go. They just let her go. She doesn't have really a good moment in this movie. Yeah, I know. She had to have been bummed when she got the script. You're going to do it. Tony Burton, Apex Mountain. I'm going to say yes. Good career, by the way. He was definitely a really good working actor, but that speech was phenomenal. Well, he got to show off his chess skills. Why not? 80s robots, Sal? Oh, interesting. What do we have to compare it to? R2D2? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's 70s, though. That's 70s, yeah. Originally, that's true. Yeah, R2D2 wins. Or the Terminator. Oh, right. Johnny Five. Yeah, it's definitely not. Al Bandiero, I'm going to say yes, because I don't know what else he did. James Brown, no. Eerie, evil 80s synthesizer music. Mm-hmm. So it's basically Terminator. The scene when the, if he dies, he dies, whatever music's going on there. Mm-hmm. I think this might be it. This is like, this is like the most foreboding, evil synthesizer music we created in the 80s. Yeah. Halloween has amazing, that's 1978, I think, the original Halloween movie is terrifying. But the 80s is tough to be. It's pretty good. Frank Stallone's like, really? I just needed to buy a synthesizer? What the fuck? Can't get me in this movie? 80s movie montages. I think maybe just movie montages, Bill. I mean, we've seen some spectacular ones. Name a better montage sequence in any movie ever than in the ones in Rocky IV. I can't think of them. I think this is the one. I think this is the LeBron of montages. When you hit me with the 30%, that is spectacular. And when he's driving with his car, like, who thinks like this? So the montage is one thing if it's a training montage, right? We're just seeing it. But the montage when he's driving in his car, these are the thoughts that are going through your head, right? How are you able to drive and think of Adrian at the pet store, and then you get your ass kicked by Clubber Lang, and then you burying your trainer? Like, you would not, you'd have to pull over to the side of the road. You would not be able to take it. It's fair. Picking nits. We've picked some nits already, but should Drago have faced murder charges for Apollo's death? Oh, interesting. Could that have been a move for a Vegas district attorney trying to make a name for himself? Yeah, like the Saul Goodman of Las Vegas. Yeah. Listen, if Miles Garrett does not get assault charges for caving in Mason Rudolph's head, I don't think he can do it to Drago. Fair. The Vegas law. The Vegas thing. When OJ went to jail for a few years for just threatening to get his memorabilia back, yes, you would figure that the nasty Russian might be brought up on manslaughter charges. Paulie in this movie, Sal. Wow. So not an alcoholic anymore? Or has it more under control? Was he in a program? How did this work with him? It didn't work with him. And I feel bad because he was like the Jim Carrey of 1986. He was the physical comedian. We have to do the Paulie. Okay. So the first big Paulie physical comedy moment is the kid spraying whipped cream in his face. Right. Yeah. And then the second moment is a lazy fall in the snow. And it's like, all right, great. You did it. Yeah. He like repeats. They use the same line. They kind of loop it over and over. Burt Young. There you go. He's got he's the physical comedian. Yeah. By the way, I didn't have Burt Young for Apex Mountain because it's back to school with Rodney Dangerfield. Goddamn right. One of the great characters of the 80s. And we'll be doing that movie at some point here. Another pick and nits. True fact. Soviet heavyweights not allowed to box professional fighters during the Cold War. So this movie took some liberties with that one. Oh, okay. Really? Just was not allowed. Yeah. Oh, okay. We've talked about how they didn't explain why Rocky didn't defend the belt and mentioned how there was the scene where he visits the U.S. boxing board. It's in the trailer. My guess. So Stallone directed this and was obviously at his height of vanity. There must have been something he didn't like about how his face looked in the boxing board scene. Because there's no other reason to cut it. It's not like this movie was too long. It's an hour and a half. Right. It's such an important way to advance the plot. They're just like, nah, use the newspaper clipping. It's good. And then there's some major pickinets with the time in this movie. Yeah. So Adrian says to Apollo when she's talking about a fighting that he's been retired for nearly five years. Rocky says earlier when he brings Adrian the terrible bracelet that they've been married for nine years. But in Rocky 2, they get married and then he fights Apollo basically within a couple months of the marriage. Right. Right. So if he's been retired for nearly five years, did Apollo have other fights after the second Rocky fight? Interesting. I think so. I think he had a couple other ones. And Rocky's still training too. Because Rocky comes back with a shiner, right? That's the very first scene. So he's training for something, I guess. Well, some people think that's the end of Rocky 3 when he comes back with the shiner, which also doesn't make sense. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know. Time is just all over the place. Not to mention Rocky 4, he comes home and his son is eight years older. And we'll never know what happens, Rocky 4 to Rocky 5. Yeah. Where his son becomes a teenager overnight. We see him, he's with his three friends, he's eight. One of the many reasons Rocky 5 never happened. But I never understood the time continuity in this. Any other nitpicks for you guys that we haven't mentioned? We talked about no doctor on site for that. No doctors at a fight. Somebody call the doctor! You're in a boxing ring, dude. Yeah. Where is he? There's no nitpicks. I want to go over the odds, though. I would love to go over the odds. All right, yo, I got that coming. Just quickly, best quote. I'll give you these five. Throw the damn towel. What started out as a joke has turned into disaster. You can't win. He's chopping the Russian down. If I can change, you can change.
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