Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
52:03 – 56:26… whole thing, he does not look cool at all for one single second. He is awful. I love that part. It's the only time I've ever seen him not look cool. So the Apex Mountain, I don't feel like we got there with the OGs of this movie, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Michelle Rodriguez. You could talk me into Jordana Brewster because I do feel like she was the best in this movie of all of them. And you would have thought coming out of this movie, she was going to be maybe a bigger star than she ended up being. I don't know. The one person who was definitely Apex Mountain for it was Matt Schultz, who played Vince. …
The whole segment, as transcribed
And they have the actor in the same car as a person driving. It's just on the other side. Yeah. And if you watch, Robert De Niro's fucking terrified. And the whole thing, he does not look cool at all for one single second. He is awful. I love that part. It's the only time I've ever seen him not look cool. So the Apex Mountain, I don't feel like we got there with the OGs of this movie, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Michelle Rodriguez. You could talk me into Jordana Brewster because I do feel like she was the best in this movie of all of them. And you would have thought coming out of this movie, she was going to be maybe a bigger star than she ended up being. I don't know. The one person who was definitely Apex Mountain for it was Matt Schultz, who played Vince. Yes. Well, you could have told me Matt Schultz was going to go on to bigger and better things. I would have believed it in 2001. See, this is the thing. I knew we were going to talk about this category when you said, hey, let's do this. And I was trying to figure out a way. I can't separate any one movie from all the rest of them. You know what I'm saying? It's hard for me to do that. So in my head, this is clearly Apex Mountain for Paul Walker, for Vin Diesel. I think Fast Five is Apex Mountain for all of them. That might work. Because Fast Five is the greatest movie of all time. It's like Godfather 2 and Fast Five. Okay. And we're going to do Fast Five actually in a couple months in April. Okay. But Fast Five is when they just put all the jigsaw puzzle pieces together. Right. And it goes up nine levels. And everything about it is just bigger, better, everything. Right. And it made a bajillion dollars. And it became clear to everybody that this was just the new James Bond series. Mm-hmm. So I would vote for that for Apex Mountain. I would say maybe Neil Moritz putting this together off a Vibe article and creating a multi-billion dollar franchise. This might be his Apex Mountain. There's your winner. There's your winner right there. I love watching when you watch like if you go Fast Five and then the Fast and the Furious and you're like, holy shit. They're stealing a hundred million dollars in Fast Five. And they're stealing fucking DVD players in the first one. Right. Like that's an incredible. It's like 20 DVD players. That's a jump. The Soprano. I've been re-watching The Sopranos and that's like that too. They have whole heists of trucks with just DVD players. It feels super dated. I guess maybe that should have been in What's Aged the Worst. The DVD players? Truck heists for DVD players and crappy TVs. The Joey Pants Award given out to that guy or that girl from the movie. This is a no-brainer. Ted Levine. Which one's Ted Levine? He's Brian's boss who also played Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. And was the guy in Heat. Ted Levine. That's Buffalo Bill? Yeah. Are you serious? Sure you're a big fat person. That's not Buffalo Bill. You don't know what pain is, lady. Yeah. It's Buffalo Bill. It's Ted Levine. He's just, he has more weight on him. He didn't recognize him. I'm voting Hector. I love Hector in this movie. So Hector's a good one too because I don't even know what his real name is. His real name is Noah. I mean Noel. Noel. Noah. Noel what? My nephew is Noah. Let me see. Is that a weird last name? And Google Emi. I don't know if he's Mexican or not, but he's Mexican. I gotta say I really liked Hector. I love Hector. How can you not like Hector? The thing I like about Hector, the guy who plays him in every role, he looks exactly the same. He does the same tricks, same haircut all the time. And they're all like, training day is set in the same area. It's probably the same fucking guy. Yeah. It's gotta be the same guy. Who plays Hector now in 2019? Michael Pena. Michael Pena. I always set you up for that joke. Is playing. Anybody that you're gonna ask me. He's also playing Vince. And it's gonna be fucking Michael Pena'd out. The Saul Rubinick They Knew Award for overacting. Nominees. Ja Rule, although I would say his acting was actually also perfect. Oh my God. Ted Levine, Buffalo Bill. Just to clarify, Ja Rule, great actor. Vin Diesel, horrible actor. That's where we are on your little notepad. Vin Diesel's a great horrible actor. He's great and horrible. He's a good actor. The only one. Did you find me guilty? Vin Diesel's a good actor. I'm with you. Okay. He's fun to make fun of though. He's not fun to make fun of. He's fun to pray to. That's what you should do. Let me tell you about my father. The winner of this award is the police sergeant.
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