Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
9:44 – 12:33… even not, not only would he have not tolerated it, he would have not tolerated it being on in our house. So I can't, this is not even allowed. It's really Apex Mountain for, you had to have seen this movie within a certain age range. And if you didn't, there's no way it would work. But if you saw it between like 10 and 18, it's with you for life. But you can't bring anyone into it now. So I tried with my son, who's 18. Yeah. He was like, this movie's terrible. But Jim Carrey's hilarious. Okay. And he was like, I get why they made it. I get why I was successful. And I enjoyed it. And I was like, you're going …
The whole segment, as transcribed
If I was 16, my dad was like early 50s. I can't even imagine him tolerating this movie at that age for five minutes. He wouldn't even not, not only would he have not tolerated it, he would have not tolerated it being on in our house. So I can't, this is not even allowed. It's really Apex Mountain for, you had to have seen this movie within a certain age range. And if you didn't, there's no way it would work. But if you saw it between like 10 and 18, it's with you for life. But you can't bring anyone into it now. So I tried with my son, who's 18. Yeah. He was like, this movie's terrible. But Jim Carrey's hilarious. Okay. And he was like, I get why they made it. I get why I was successful. And I enjoyed it. And I was like, you're going to end up watching it 10 times. He's like, yeah, probably. Yeah. I mean, I don't even know what PG-13 means anymore, but this movie was made for 13-year-old boys. Yeah. Carrey's a good blend of, there's adult humor in the movie. And there's kid humor. And it feels like now those things are kind of bifurcated where you can only have one or the other. But this movie, I mean, there are a lot of references. I'll get into this later that I definitely didn't understand when I was a kid that I do now. There's sexual innuendos and things like that. But then it's also just like him kicking around a package. And it's hilarious. Yeah. I had forgotten about the opening scene and kicking around the package. And because I had not seen the movie before research for this. And I'm going to say eight to 10 years. I had not even done that. I hadn't even been on for more than five minutes continuously in my life. And I completely forgot about that scene. And it's like an extended. Yeah. Like walk and tracking shot kind of thing. I'm like, and he just says nothing. And he's both, he's immediately athletic, graceful, and just wildly out there. Like from, from shot one of the movie, it's like, wait, they're doing, it's just two minutes of this guy kicking a package. Why is this happening? And I didn't even remember why it was happening. Like, why is he intentionally damaging this package? What is going on here? Like I've forgotten. Yeah. I think it's so the guy has to spend time filling out the form. So he kidnaps the dog. Kidnaps the dog and replaces it with a stuffed animal. It's, this is something that would happen in the eighties and nineties. And I don't feel like it happens anymore where somebody is just kind of famous and funny enough to get a movie greenlit like this, where it's like, it's a dumb premise and you're the star. Let's make it like Billy Madison. Same thing with Adam Sandler. That was his first movie. Mike Myers had, so I married an ax murderer, which we did, which is a little more advanced, I think, than this movie. But, but it's just, it's just, had dirty work. Remember? It's just letting somebody cook. Yeah. Just like, just be funny. Do the stuff you do. We'll, we'll come up with some premise around it and just go nuts. Does Tommy boy fall into that? Tommy boy is another one, but this is, and then they tried with Will Ferrell with night in the Roxbury and they didn't really get it right with him until old school. But, um, I don't feel like Marcelo Hernandez, who seems like he's taking off on SNL now in 1993,
88:05 – 92:26… And he comes back at halftime and they just announce like, and Dan Marino's back! And everyone's like, oh, great. It's going to be an exciting second half. Apex Mountain. Carry, not yet, but we're close. It's this whole year, right? I think it's after Dumb and Dumber. That's it. Courtney Cox. We're not there yet, but we're moving in the vicinity. I think it's Scream. I think it's Scream and Friends at the same time. Dan Marino, no. It's the mid-80s for Dan Marino. Three straight years leading the league in passing makes Super Bowl. Seems like he's going to be the best quarterback of all time. The Dolphins, …
The whole segment, as transcribed
Super Bowl is happening. The traffic for the Super Bowl is a fucking nightmare. And even in 1984 it was a nightmare. And they're just like, yeah, let's get him in the game. Easily get him in the game. And he comes back at halftime and they just announce like, and Dan Marino's back! And everyone's like, oh, great. It's going to be an exciting second half. Apex Mountain. Carry, not yet, but we're close. It's this whole year, right? I think it's after Dumb and Dumber. That's it. Courtney Cox. We're not there yet, but we're moving in the vicinity. I think it's Scream. I think it's Scream and Friends at the same time. Dan Marino, no. It's the mid-80s for Dan Marino. Three straight years leading the league in passing makes Super Bowl. Seems like he's going to be the best quarterback of all time. The Dolphins, since their last title in 1972, I think this is arguably the apex for them the last 30 years. This is it. Like, we were the team in Ace Ventura. What else is good that's happened to them? We don't know if they win the Super Bowl, though, in Ace Ventura. They probably could have slid that into the credits. Did we know the score at halftime? No. No idea. They don't care. They're not interested. Miami movies, no. Pet Detectives, yes. Jim Carrey's 1994, just in general, is just a general apex mountain for comedy actors. Do you think this is the best 1994 Jim Carrey movie? No. I don't. Dumb and Dumber? Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, Mask. I agree. But, I think if you're talking about a one-year comedy actor year, I think this is probably it. I mean, I can't believe. I don't even particularly like the mask. It's fine. I don't either. The one-two punch of Ace Ventura and Dumb and Dumber is... And the mask just being in the middle making a shitload of money. I think it made the most out of the three of them. You could just retire after that. AFC Championship rings. I think this is the apex mountain. It's the only time anyone... There was this much dialogue about it. All right. Cruise or Hanks? Hanks, right? It's Hanks. To play Ace Ventura? Yeah. No. A hard disagree. Tom Cruise? Cruise. Oh, my God, Zach. And here's why... I knew the wheels would come off for you. Tom Hanks is like Mr. Americana. Wholesome guy. So you didn't see Bachelor Party. 80s Tom Hanks could have been Ace Ventura. First of all, how dare you? 80s Tom Hanks could have been Ace Ventura. Hanks can be goofy. Tom Cruise doesn't... Hanks can turn up the goofy. I'm not talking about goofy. I'm talking about in some of the smug, nastier moments of this movie. You can see the seeds of like what becomes not quite the cable guy, but that level of smugness and meanness. Like I can't believe we haven't discussed the scene where we're gonna get to it, I hope, where bam, bam, bam, he hits Courtney Cox with three of the nastiest insults in a row, like rapid fire. Like that's just okay. Yeah. And like Cruise has that little darkness in his arsenal that I just don't think Tom Hanks has. And physicality, no, no, you need some physicality. I'm not sweating you guys off. Tom Hanks, imagine Tom Hanks making faces and doing these stuff. You can't do it. I can't overstate how fucking weird it would be if Tom Cruise was trying to be Ace Ventura. It just wouldn't work. Tom Cruise has only done comedy once in 40 years and he had to wear a fat suit. He was in a disguise basically. It's not gonna work. None of this is gonna work. This is a one man unicorn performance. Yeah, you're right. But I'm picking Cruise over Hanks if I have to. You got outvoted because we both pick Hanks. Well, you're wrong. Yeah. You lost two to one. Can I quickly do a couple other half-assed internet researches that I found? Yeah. I watched this movie twice in the last two days. On the second watch, there is a scene when Ventura and Einhorn kiss and they're kind of hanging out in her office. On the desk is a banana with two apples next to it. On her desk. Like a clue? Yes. Okay. Had no idea. And then one other thing I thought was cool was that I don't know if either of you had the VHS for this movie but it came with the Ace Ventura card in the VHS and you could like put it in your wallet. So I thought it was cool. I did have the VHS for this movie and I don't remember that. Yeah. Maybe I just didn't notice it. I don't think I got the VHS. It's a great idea. Scorsese or Spielberg? Is it bad? I kind of went Scorsese. Yeah, I voted Scorsese. A thousand percent Scorsese and I repeat everything I said about why it has to be Cruz. There's a darkness and a smugness to this character that Spielberg
Open the full episode on Spotify — it cannot start at the timestamp, so the segment above is the mp3.
A grade for each call is not built yet. The board's answer is shown; whether the pod landed on it is a separate judgement, and it is not made here.