Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
51:49 – 54:37… play tennis. Yeah. Any other ones that are the best? I think that the opening text is so needlessly hard. It's so cool. It's up there with Not to Jump on Apex Mountain. It's the opening text about bank robberies versus the In Mexico Sicario means Hitman. Those are the two greatest title cards I've ever seen. Yeah. That one was really super fucking hard. Like the Sicario joint. I like that Star Wars scroll though. Yeah. You like that shit, dude? It's too long. It's too long. It's too much reading. Too long. You're in the theater. You're like... The girl was like, what does this mean? You're like, shut the …
The whole segment, as transcribed
I mean, thank God pickleball wasn't around at this point. This would have been really bad. Real men play football. FBI vegan cooks play tennis. Yeah. Any other ones that are the best? I think that the opening text is so needlessly hard. It's so cool. It's up there with Not to Jump on Apex Mountain. It's the opening text about bank robberies versus the In Mexico Sicario means Hitman. Those are the two greatest title cards I've ever seen. Yeah. That one was really super fucking hard. Like the Sicario joint. I like that Star Wars scroll though. Yeah. You like that shit, dude? It's too long. It's too long. It's too much reading. Too long. You're in the theater. You're like... The girl was like, what does this mean? You're like, shut the fuck up. You know what? Somebody who's got skills to do is redo the Star Wars scroll, but with the text from Den of Thieves, scrolling up across the galaxy is like the bank robbery capital of the world. Every nine minutes, somebody gets... It does seem like more movies should just do it. It always works. I'm always down for it. The Fortune 3 Clap Award for most gifable moment. Probably like literally any moment for Benihana, I think, can be cut into a two second. What would you have though? I have Pablo getting up from his rice. Don't appreciate you popping off, bro? Don't appreciate you popping off here, bro. We got family. Great shot, Gordor Award, most cinematic shot. I like that final traffic shootout. Yeah. Really cool overhead. The drone shot. Yeah, that looks great. This is so much fun when we get to give out a category that's from the actual movie. The Den of Thieves Benihana Award for scene-stealing location. So is Benihana... It goes to Benihana. No. So we can't do it. Oh, so I mean, obviously then... Listen, if Bill Russell had won the finals MVP after it was named after him, he gets the Bill Russell finals MVP. That's how this works. Well, that would be really impressive. That would have been in the 80s. Kid Cudi, Pursuit of Happiness Award. Wait, can I throw out some runners up for Benihana? Yeah, go for it. I would say Ziggy's Hoffbrow and the menswear store. Oh, the donut shop. The donut shop is one too, for sure. Kid Cudi, Pursuit of Happiness Award. Best Needle Drop. Not a lot of music in this, but they... Well, the music is incredible. They're not a lot of songs. No, but a lot of like with lyrics, but What It's Like by Everlast. Oh, yeah. Nice little... Oh, bruh. Nice little... Squeeze that one in there. Little late 90s, baby. They call her a killer and they call her a sinner. Boy, he was dropping some knowledge, man. The Big Kahuna Burger Award for Best Use of Food and Drink. Unless you guys can top drinking milk right from the carton at six in the morning. Bloody Donuts. The Donuts. Bloody Donuts and Deb's New Man's House Dinner. That's eating the food.
72:05 – 78:42… wonder. In the closing credits, the $100 bill has the serial number DOT-0000-2018 for Den of Thieves. Got to really catch that. Takes some time. All right. Apex Mountain. Gerard Butler. I think you could make the argument that this is the second phase of his career. The Fallen movies? Or 300? 300 is the first peak. Where are more conversations now? 300 or Den of Thieves? Well, Den of Thieves in our bubble. Longer tail. I think Den of Thieves now. 300 probably played more at sporting events. Yeah. 300. It's probably 300. But he's more this guy now. Yeah. So it's an interesting one. I think it's become this. …
The whole segment, as transcribed
But in this one, there's a lot of tactical stuff. And I always wonder. In the closing credits, the $100 bill has the serial number DOT-0000-2018 for Den of Thieves. Got to really catch that. Takes some time. All right. Apex Mountain. Gerard Butler. I think you could make the argument that this is the second phase of his career. The Fallen movies? Or 300? 300 is the first peak. Where are more conversations now? 300 or Den of Thieves? Well, Den of Thieves in our bubble. Longer tail. I think Den of Thieves now. 300 probably played more at sporting events. Yeah. 300. It's probably 300. But he's more this guy now. Yeah. So it's an interesting one. I think it's become this. Pablo Schreiber. It's this or The Wire. Yeah. This or The Wire. Yeah. I think it's this. Suit Stores? Suit Stores in a movie? Suit Stores. Like in films or in general? All suit stores ever. This is a very specific kind of suit store where you can get a suit and a leather duster and cowboy pants. Yeah. The three for three suit store for sure. The three for three suit store. Great. The Federal Reserve Bank in Los Angeles. Didn't even know it was a thing. So yeah. Yeah. The Fed. Never been to take it down. Also, it could be Apex Mountain of things being described like Fort Knox. Long Beach Poly versus South Torrance. For sure. I'm going to say this was the fucking Apex. It's certainly the Apex for South Torrance because otherwise it's Chad Morton. Shooting Rangers in a movie. I still got a Beverly Hills Cop 2. Beverly Hills Cop 2. Really important. The Beverly Hills Club club. Huge. Bigger. Bigger for the plot. Yeah. Benny Hanna. In a movie. It's actually Benny Hanna, which is unclear still. Christian, was it a Benny Hanna? There you go. That counts. We're counting it. This is invaluable, by the way. Yeah. This is great. We could have just been doing this for two hours. Accidental text to a stripper that go to your wife in a movie? In a movie? Yes. In life, neither goes. In life, that would be Tiger Woods, right? What's the text? It's like, you're such a bad bitch. What? Is he here? What the? Thank you. No, the text was... No, I can't fuck over him like that, man. Heat homage, second generation heat movies. It's basically this versus... The town. Versus Triple Frontier. Triple Frontier is a war movie, though, right? Yeah, Triple Frontier is... Yeah, but it's still a heist. I mean, it's a heist, but the town is much... It's got the same vibe. The town is much more on the nose as far as that type of thing that you're talking about. Yeah. Okay. Widows is up there. Oh, Widows. That's a good one. Yeah. That's a really good one. Sexism stopped us from bringing it up. Tacking up for a street gunfight after a heist. Yeah. This is about as good as I've ever seen putting on bulletproof vests. Yeah. O'Shea Jackson Jr. You got... So you got this. You got Straight Outta Compton. Straight Outta Compton. And you also have... I think he's Donnie now. I think he's Donnie now. I think it's... I think it's... I think it's actually going to be the sequel. Oh, the sequel is going to be... That's a good shot. I think that's going to be his apex, man. I DM'd him and let him know we were doing this. I was like, yeah, man. Hell yeah. Is that how he sounded? He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. He's a good guy. We were like, hey, man, I got this script idea called Race War. Race War. Think about it. It's about these white football players. Bad things happening at a donut store in a movie. I'm still going Boogie Nights. Yeah, Boogie Nights. Oh, Boogie Nights for sure. Yeah. Even though that did lead to Buck being able to open his own stereo... The question is, is it the same donut shop? I guess not because that's in the Valley and this is... Drinking milk right from the carton, probably Anchorman. Anchorman is up there. Yeah. It was a terrible choice. And then Angel City Donuts. Yes. I think this was Apex Mountain for wherever that was. All right. Next category is Cruz or Hanks. I got Hanks as Big Nick. Really? Make the case. Let's hear it. I feel like Hanks post-Saving Private Ryan could do it. I think he's got it. I think he spent some time with Sizemore. He's got... He knows about late nights. And coming out of Saving Private Ryan, we could have seen it. Are you trying to tell me Tom Cruise could have been anywhere in this film? Wait a minute. I want everybody to close your eyes and think about Tom Hanks walking into that fucking dinner and stealing the meat off the house. Yeah. Tom Hanks saying, the food sucks, we come here for the ass. Right. Wait, Tom Cruise saying it would be just as crazy. We come here for the ass. I actually thought Cruise. Because it would have been the Cruise that I like where he just tries to become this alternate crazy personality. Like collateral? As Big Nick. Cruise as Big Nick. Cruise is 5'7". Cruise just saying, fuck it. Well, he'd be medium Nick. Okay. Yeah, I guess Cruise maybe... Can you imagine Cruise piecing off against Pablo Shriver? Well, I think we have to get rid of Pablo if Cruise is in it. It's going to look like a Make-A-Wish outing. It's like... It's literally going to look like Big Brothers. It's like... It's like... It was nasty, bro. I think if Cruise is in, Pablo is probably not in the movie. We're probably recasting. We got to get a shorter... Yeah, it's a shorter cast at that point. It's more of like a slot receiver guy. Yeah. So you think Hanks, after trying to be like America's... You give me a binary choice of Cruise or Hanks. I'm telling you it's Hanks. You're the tiebreaker. So it would have to be Hanks. Okay. It would have to be Hanks. I think you're right. I just wanted to see Cruise trying to play Big Nick. Cruise has played more roles like this before. Yeah. He's like... He's in collateral. Like, he's done shit like this. Yeah. Racehorse, rock band, wrestler, fantasy team name. I'll give you Angel City Donuts or Ziggy's Hoffbrow. I like calling a horse Long Beach Polly. Oh, nice. Long Beach Polly is good. All right. Pick a nits. Scottish Gerard Butler as a South Torrance football star. Go. What? Bro, you can't tell me he don't have that whole Bill Romanowski thing.
92:22 – 95:16… you go, that's 50 Cent. But in this role, he's muted. He plays off of Pablo's character really well. He's really, really good at this. I didn't put him in Apex Mountain because it's, we know what his Apex Mountain is. To get Richard Die Trying album? Yeah, that year when his album broke was his Apex Mountain. He was rapper in the world, yeah. But this was, I think, the best movie that he's been in. This is probably his movie Apex. Yeah. This is, I would definitely say this is his movie Apex. Best double feature choice. What would you go with CR? I mean, Dead of Thieves 2, Pantera. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. …
The whole segment, as transcribed
Like he, like normally when you see 50 on screen, he's such a gigantic personality and a gigantic figure that you go, that's 50 Cent. But in this role, he's muted. He plays off of Pablo's character really well. He's really, really good at this. I didn't put him in Apex Mountain because it's, we know what his Apex Mountain is. To get Richard Die Trying album? Yeah, that year when his album broke was his Apex Mountain. He was rapper in the world, yeah. But this was, I think, the best movie that he's been in. This is probably his movie Apex. Yeah. This is, I would definitely say this is his movie Apex. Best double feature choice. What would you go with CR? I mean, Dead of Thieves 2, Pantera. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Deliver for client. The Indian Red Zawantan Award, what happened the next day? Dead of Thieves 2. Pantera. Yeah. What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie that's not the Chinese food that's stuck in the bathroom? Oh, man. I get enamored with all the hardware that's always in these movies, but I'm not going to pick that. Oh, see, I had that. I had Pablo's vest in this movie. It would be fucking cool. I always loved the movies. So many bullet spots. Yeah. It's like 2,000 bullets. Yeah, but it'd probably be one of the donuts with a little bit of blood on it. Stunt donut? What do you have, CR? Either the donuts or Donnie's Trans Am or whatever he was driving when he's like, all right, drive. The Coach Finstock Award, best life lesson. Never underestimate a bartender. Yeah. Never. That's definitely what I left the film thinking about. Or if you're going to pull off a heist, maybe try to figure out a better traffic situation if you're going to spend 10 weeks casing a bank. Maybe try to figure out how to get an Alameda. I have one question I want to ask before we just compare some stuff. Just real quick. Let's say you have one job you have to pull and the job is robbing a large bank in Miami. Right? Whose crew are you going to want to rob this bank? Oh, from movie crews. Movie crews. Danny Ocean's crew? Nah, too soft. Neil's crew. Neil's crew. Or Merriman's crew? Neil's crew. You think Neil's crew? Yeah. I feel like... Do I get Dennis Haysburg and Neil's crew? I think that online gambling was probably not kind to Chris Scheherlis. And by the time you get to our contemporary moment, he is really distracted. Right. That's he, too. Yeah. It's like him just being crippled by, like, I got to get my bets in. But, like... Just doing a Monday Night Apolog. So I would go Merriman's crew. There you go. Interesting. Merriman's crew has more size. Yeah. Because Ray's probably, what, five inches taller than anyone? He's five inches on size more. Yeah. Yeah. I think if the bank... I think because the bank is in Miami, I'm going with Merriman's crew.
Open the full episode on Spotify — it cannot start at the timestamp, so the segment above is the mp3.
A grade for each call is not built yet. The board's answer is shown; whether the pod landed on it is a separate judgement, and it is not made here.