Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
78:47 – 85:32… different panties in it? I think it has to be like the metal chastity belt from Robin Hood, Men in Tights. Like, I think you need something... A barrier. Apex Mountain. Oh, shit. I'll just keep reading stuff until you tell me if it was anybody's Apex Mountain. Okay. Sandra Bullock, Brendan Fraser, LA Race Relations, undercover cops shooting each other. Terrence Howard, there's a case because Hustle & Flow came out the same year. Oh, well, that moment, yeah, for sure. 2005 is his Apex Mountain. It's his Apex Mountain. I don't know, Empire Season 1. That's pretty, he was pretty big. He was a big star on TV. …
The whole segment, as transcribed
What does she... Like... It would almost have to be like a, like an adult diaper with like... seven different panties in it? I think it has to be like the metal chastity belt from Robin Hood, Men in Tights. Like, I think you need something... A barrier. Apex Mountain. Oh, shit. I'll just keep reading stuff until you tell me if it was anybody's Apex Mountain. Okay. Sandra Bullock, Brendan Fraser, LA Race Relations, undercover cops shooting each other. Terrence Howard, there's a case because Hustle & Flow came out the same year. Oh, well, that moment, yeah, for sure. 2005 is his Apex Mountain. It's his Apex Mountain. I don't know, Empire Season 1. That's pretty, he was pretty big. He was a big star on TV. Yeah. Maybe, yeah, so yeah, it's pretty big. Bigger than Hustle & Flow? Best Actor nomination, Hustle & Flow is pretty tough to beat. Matt Dillon, no. St. Christopher Statues, I don't have a lot of experience. Human Trafficking, probably not. Don Cheadle, no. Michael Pena, no. Ryan Phillipe, Felipe. What would be his Apex Mountain? It's growing intentions. Yeah. Yeah. Van Dewey Newton? No. No. What is her Apex Mountain? Westworld. Wasn't she in the first Mission Impossible movie, or one of them? She's, it's Mission Impossible. Two. Two. The worst one. Lorenz Tate, no. Ludacris. It's one of the fast movies. I don't know which one. It's Paul Haggis's. Jennifer Esposito, no. No, it's Paul Haggis's. It's Paul Haggis's. Paul Haggis, definitely, yes. The Church of Scientology's. Influence Apex Mountain. One more break, and then we're going to do Cruiser Hanks. This episode is brought to you by Sleep Doctor. Let's say a good sleep is wildly underrated. You can do everything right, eat well, work out, sleep seven or eight hours, and still feel exhausted. If you snore, wake up tired, or crash during the day, it might be worth looking into. Sleep Doctor offers an at-home sleep study done in your own bed. They accept most insurance plans, so you can pay as little as zero dollars. Visit sleepdoctor.com. This episode is brought to you by the Hulu original series, Chad Powers, starring our friend, Glenn Powell. This season, the walls are closing in on Chad's biggest secret, and with his future on the field hanging in the balance, he'll have to win back the one coach who wants nothing to do with him. Watch the new season of Chad Powers on September 3rd, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. Cruz or Hanks, and what role would you want them to play in this movie, if you pick? Hanks kills as Brendan Fraser's character. Kills. Would love to see Hanks in that morally gray, if you have Hanks, you gotta have the sex scene. Would love to see him. Has Hanks ever had sex in a movie, other than Forrest Gump? I can't think of one. Bet that never happened in a moment at class. Yeah. You gotta, Hanks kills in that role. Can I test drive Tom Cruise and the Matt Dillon character for you guys? I want Cruz in this, because if we're doing Magnolia Methadone, we might as well go all the way. And I also think you need co-kier energy in this LA movie. Tom Cruise, helping out the dad, you get the Magnolia angle yet again, with like Tom Cruise's weird dad issues, but then, angry like evil, Tom Cruise is the cop. But then he, Tom Cruise trying to save somebody from a fire. I mean, I, my vote's Cruise. I say Cruise. Is this the rare movie where you could put Cruise and Hanks in it together? Yeah, you probably could. Hanks could be Brandon Frazier. I don't think, I mean, certainly not at this time in his career, Hanks doesn't belong here. I don't think. You don't think so. Craig, Cruise? I like Cruise in this. I, this movie is kind of like a Magnolia type movie. You could even just get Cruise's character from Magnolia, jam him into this movie. Cause you could also put Cruise in the William Fichtner character, just have him come in for one scene. If it's a Churchill Scientology joint, why not invite Tom Cruise? Yeah, where was he? It's true. How is he not in this? Can I say something about the Cruise thing though? He works in Magnolia, but then there are other like, big ensemble, one scene movies where he doesn't work. Like he totally ruined Lions for Lambs. Like he was terrible in that. That movie kind of sucked. That movie sucked anyway. He's not the reason that movie is about it. There are other reasons too. That was a great script. I read that script and thought that movie was going to win 10 Oscars. We forgot to do Apex Mountain for Church of Scientology. I think this is. Haggis wins the Oscar. Cruise is jumping on Oprah's couch. yeah. Oprah's couch. Cruise, the jump. Lose free. Oprah lose free. Another Oprah mistake. Yeah. Just to let you know. Soft launching, Is that Oprah's fault though? I'm just saying. She was part of the hard launch of that whole deal. Yeah. Another mistake. By the way, anytime the Scientology thing is mentioned, just black my face up. Scorsese or Spielberg? Martin Scorsese's crash. This is great. This is a movie Spielberg would have tried to take on though. Yeah. I feel like he easily could have. Really? I could see him doing it. Yeah. A little edgy for him. But that's the thing. It's like safe edgy. Mm-hmm. But yeah, Scorsese's the answer. Scorsese. Okay. What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played? Ooh, one best actor this year too. He did for Capote. Mm-hmm. I'd throw him in the Matt Dillon role as well. I think he'd do it. I'd like to see evil cop Philip Seymour Hoffman. Let me tell you something though. If he's in it, it's the redemption part doesn't work as well. Because he's going to play, it's going to be- Was Matt Dillon actually redeemed in this movie? He wasn't. I guess we can talk about it later. But the- The movie thinks he is. The movie thinks he is. But if he's in the role, Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to be so loathful and he's going to play it so well. It would be funny if he played it like Talented Mr. Ripley, Freddy. Yeah. How's the peeping, Tommy? Yeah, what's the peeping? Tommy. I think in the Fickner role, in his like Charlie Wilson's war mode. Just coming in hot. Yeah. The Van Lathan Award. Did this movie need more black people? Perfect. Nope. Pretty good. Picking nets. Can't wait. Wow. Where do you begin? I just wrote, Oh God, all of them. Like, I don't know how you pick nets inside of this movie. What are your, Bill Simmons top 10 nitpicks of Crash. I know she's a horrible person, but you just start screaming with the locksmith like 40 feet away. She's mad. Nobody does that. She's angry. Nobody does anything that they do in this movie. Nobody would ever do that. There are no human being behaviors in this movie. Matt Dillon runs into Dandui Newton twice in like three days. Yeah. And Ryan Phillippe runs. He arrests her and then it just happens to be there when she has a car crash in Los Angeles. Ryan Phillippe runs into Terrence Howard. Have that later. Ryan Phillippe happens to give a ride.
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