Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
20:30 – 23:16… think it's very good. And then the Schumacher ones came and destroyed it. Right. Batman Returns, I don't really like to your point, Bill. Like, we're talking Apex Mountain left and right. Like, this is like the definition of it for Keaton. Yeah. Melanie Griffith, this is kind of the tail end for her as a leading actress in a movie. We go from Body Double, Something Wild, Working Girl, and then she does Pacific Heights, Bonfire of the Vanities this year, and then that's it. She really paid for Bonfire of the Vanities in a way that really touched. She was the one. Yeah, and Willis didn't either. De Palma did …
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just because of like seeing it in the theater and the events of it all. But I think it just kind of pales in comparison to the normal ones. Yeah, I don't care for it very much. I just don't, the Penguin thing and all that. I just don't think it's very good. And then the Schumacher ones came and destroyed it. Right. Batman Returns, I don't really like to your point, Bill. Like, we're talking Apex Mountain left and right. Like, this is like the definition of it for Keaton. Yeah. Melanie Griffith, this is kind of the tail end for her as a leading actress in a movie. We go from Body Double, Something Wild, Working Girl, and then she does Pacific Heights, Bonfire of the Vanities this year, and then that's it. She really paid for Bonfire of the Vanities in a way that really touched. She was the one. Yeah, and Willis didn't either. De Palma did though. Yep. This was the last Stanford, and I gotta say, she's miscast in this movie, but I still like that she's in the movie. It's a miscasting that I actually really enjoy. I don't think she's the right person for the movie, and I never really bought her and Modine, but I think that's one of the reasons I like the movie, Kyle. Even last night, my wife and I were talking about it. We're like, would these two be together? Does this make sense? Does this make sense? This is my favorite part about this movie. Sometimes we'll watch these films that are set in the early 90s up until maybe turn of the century, and you're like, I felt like all of this stuff would be so different now because of technology, but there's something perfect about a horse instructor, a horse riding instructor, and a kite maker being like, let's make it work. You want to throw 750 down on a Victorian? You know, like, I don't know, like, how would people vet each other back then? How long did you date? You know, but like, they're just two kids like the fuck trying to make it honest, you know? Like, it's just... I had this for later. Like, did he feel like the kites were going to take off in the 90s? Dude, I mean... It's like, South Korea, it's going nuts right now. Listen, I have it on unanswerable questions. It's like, does he make fucking kites for a living? He does. He's a luxury kite maker. Right now, it would be like some douchebag he went to high school with on Facebook and he's like, bit of personal news, new endeavor, starting a kite company, big things coming. We're thinking IPO in spring of 28. Early investors, if anyone wants to get into my kite company. So she's a horse instructor with a bad knee. Former equestrian rider. Heard her name. Yeah. Yeah. Equestrian accident we didn't get to see for some reason, even though we got 10 minutes of backstory with Michael Keaton. It's too bad Tatum's doctor couldn't work on Patty. But maybe get an apartment. You're not even married. The big swing for the Victorian, an apartment would be fine. Maybe you guys get the studio. That's the other weird thing about the relationship is they're filling out the application. It's like marital status. They look at each other like single. It's like they don't want to really get married but somehow they went all in on this giant Victorian anyway.
98:45 – 101:38I want to host a terrible World Cup soccer show. Want to have my own late night show. Yeah. What have I done of those? I don't know. I'm just... Apex Mountain. Keaton. Yeah. Well, this is it. I'm going to say yes. Yeah, I think it is too. Although there's an example of Apex Mountain being a poison chalice. Sometimes it's like you make the wrong move from the Apex, you know? For sure. Or the right move. For sure. Melanie Griffith, no. Maddie Modine. No. I think Full Metal Jackets. I think it's the Kubrick lead. Full Metal. Lead in the Kubrick movie. You got to do that, yeah. Ominously playing with …
The whole segment, as transcribed
I want to host a terrible World Cup soccer show. Want to have my own late night show. Yeah. What have I done of those? I don't know. I'm just... Apex Mountain. Keaton. Yeah. Well, this is it. I'm going to say yes. Yeah, I think it is too. Although there's an example of Apex Mountain being a poison chalice. Sometimes it's like you make the wrong move from the Apex, you know? For sure. Or the right move. For sure. Melanie Griffith, no. Maddie Modine. No. I think Full Metal Jackets. I think it's the Kubrick lead. Full Metal. Lead in the Kubrick movie. You got to do that, yeah. Ominously playing with a razor? Has it ever been done better? I think of Kevin Spacey cutting his fingertips off at 7. Oh, pretty awesome. And then, of course, Pauly slicing the garlic. But it's close. Boy, those are two really good razor shouts. Better creepy cockroach scene? I don't know. Cockroaches is notoriously difficult to work with on film sets. What's that stupid movie Joe's Apartment? Isn't Jerry O'Connell? Isn't that a cockroach-based movie? Yes. I almost did this as my hottest takes. Cockroaches. Kind of overrated. Seems super scary in a movie, but they can't bite. They're just kind of creepy. I think they're like the scariest thing in the world. I'd rather kill myself. Well, they're scary in both. If I was Mr. Watanabe, I would have just offed myself. So wait, you're more scared of roaches than mice? I don't... I think rats are way more scary than cockroaches. Yeah, me too. Roaches, they're infinite. And they'll never go away. They just breed in your pipes. They're completely freaked out. And a lot of them can fly, which people don't know. Did you get them? I've had a few roaches in my life. Never like an infestation, but I hate them. We had termites in our first L.A. place. Oh, yeah? That sucked. Did you have to tent it? That was bad. Did you have to tent it? They just... It's like out of a movie. They start multiplying. You see the wings. It fucking sucks. If Spencer Pratt was like, we're getting rid of the roaches, he would have had my vote. That's all I had to do. Look at you, Craig. San Francisco movie houses. No. We've done this before. Is it Mrs. Doubtfire? Oh, movie houses. Yeah. Doubtfire and the stuff in Basic Instinct. And I think Full House on TV. Full House. That one's... People are going to take pictures in front of that. Porsche 911, Career Targa, yes, for 77. Evil tenants in movies, 100%. Annoying yuppies in a movie? Maybe. No. And then casual 90s racism, sadly, no. Okay. Cruise or Hanks? Cruise has got to play Carter. This is a no greater. That's it. I want it. I have responsibilities, Patty. Cruise would have said no until they showed him the last scene,
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