Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
7:17 – 10:11… checks in your second major film to just be like, fuck it, I'm going to take a shot at Godzilla? What? It's incredible. Chris, Michael Bay, we're going to do Apex Mountain later, but is this still his best performance in a movie? I think that The Rock is probably a tighter movie. I can't tell which one I've probably seen more. This is the most movie-ass movie he has ever made. I mean, you cannot overstate the influence of Titanic on this movie, whether Michael Bay liked it or not. I think that there's a part of Michael Bay that would have been content just shooting in the NASA deep water tank forever, and just …
The whole segment, as transcribed
Godzilla was LeBradford Smith. Yeah. Can we talk about the heat check of all heat checks in your second major film to just be like, fuck it, I'm going to take a shot at Godzilla? What? It's incredible. Chris, Michael Bay, we're going to do Apex Mountain later, but is this still his best performance in a movie? I think that The Rock is probably a tighter movie. I can't tell which one I've probably seen more. This is the most movie-ass movie he has ever made. I mean, you cannot overstate the influence of Titanic on this movie, whether Michael Bay liked it or not. I think that there's a part of Michael Bay that would have been content just shooting in the NASA deep water tank forever, and just being like, I don't need Liv Tyler in this movie. Affleck doesn't have to be in this movie. I think he would have been fine making a movie that was about Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton. But, you know, this was his basically his foray into let's make the biggest movie we possibly can. It is pop filmmaking all the way dialed up to 11. And you can see that, like, you know, I can't wait to talk about, like, the screenwriting talent that was involved in this and everybody who just who had a hand in it. But it weirdly, beyond Bruckheimer, beyond Bruce Willis, beyond all the screenwriters, it still is, like, pure Michael Bay. It is uncut. Yes. Shay, would you say Michael Bay, Tony Scott after three drinks and four lines of cocaine? Or Tony Scott after 11 drinks? Like, what would be the formula? Yeah, you take Tony Scott, you take the pile that Scarface had at the end of Scarface when he was just off the rails. Those two things together is how you end up with Michael Bay's career, which I fucking love. I love this guy. It's great. I wonder if Tony Scott admired it or was threatened by it or just was dismissive of it, like MJ and Clyde Drexer. Like, I wonder, Jason, what do you think you felt about him in the moment as they're, like, technically competing? You know, it's interesting. I think he's more—I wonder what Fincher thinks of him because they both came up at the same time doing music videos. They're of the same generation. And to me, Michael Bay is, like, all the technical brilliance of David Fincher crossed with, like, Fox Nation. Like, Armageddon is the most watchable and entertaining right-wing movie of all time. Like, it literally—it starts with Harry making fun of Greenpeace for wanting to protect the environment.
70:44 – 78:08… Bob Criterion, the founder of the Criterion collection, was like, I'm fucking out. This is the dumbest thing ever. Fuck this. We're ending the collection. Apex Mountain. This is tough. I'm gonna make the case for Bruce Willis. Whoa. That's a mistake. But go ahead. That's a mistake. I'm gonna make the case. I don't believe it, but I'm gonna make the case. Okay. He's coming off all the diehards. He's married to Demi Moore. They're having kids. He has the juice to get Disney to basically absorb the entire cost of his failed movie in return for Armageddon and two more movies, which then becomes Sixth Sense and …
The whole segment, as transcribed
And then this is the last Laserdisc ever released on the Criterion collection. Holy shit. They made 384. This is number 384. They knew they were never gonna top it. That's why. And then Bob Criterion, the founder of the Criterion collection, was like, I'm fucking out. This is the dumbest thing ever. Fuck this. We're ending the collection. Apex Mountain. This is tough. I'm gonna make the case for Bruce Willis. Whoa. That's a mistake. But go ahead. That's a mistake. I'm gonna make the case. I don't believe it, but I'm gonna make the case. Okay. He's coming off all the diehards. He's married to Demi Moore. They're having kids. He has the juice to get Disney to basically absorb the entire cost of his failed movie in return for Armageddon and two more movies, which then becomes Sixth Sense and Unbreakable. I'm just saying he has about as much power as an actor could have at this point in life. I still think Die Hard is his Apex Mountain, because after that, he can do whatever he wants. But this is almost like an Apex 2.0 for him. It's like a second Apex. It would be my case. Fair? I like that. Yeah. I like... We should introduce the idea of the second Apex. The second Apex? Well, Jordan... I don't think you understand Apex. Jordan had four... I know. Michael Jordan had four Apexes, right? So we could... Actors could have multiple Apexes. Let's put a second halftime in the basketball game. Michael Bay? Baypex. The Baypex? Yeah. Is this the Baypex? The Baypex. Absolutely. He makes this movie, and they're like, you're Spielberg. What do you want to do next? And he's like, give me all of the money. Give me Affleck. We're going to Hawaii. We're making Pearl Harbor. And people were like, pass. People were like, I'm not messing with this. But he cashed in. Like, this Apex Mountain to me is when you accumulate all of the chips before you cash in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should we change the name to Baypex Mountain? It is absolutely Baypex Mountain. Michael Clark Duncan, I think it comes the next year with Green Mile. Yeah, Green Mile. But this sets it up. Owen Wilson, no. No. Will Patton? No. No. Remember the Titans? Remember the Titans? For Will Patton, it's either Remember the Titans or The Postman. Yeah. Yeah, but The Postman wasn't a good movie, Shay. I hate to bring it to you. I disagree. I know you liked it. I know you liked it. The Postman is Tom Petty Apex Mountain. Liv Tyler? No. No. Lord of the Rings for her. What's her Apex Mountain, then? Probably Lord of the Rings. Yeah, Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. Yeah. I think that Billy Bob actually, I think there's a case for Billy Bob, this being his Apex Mountain, for this fact alone. Give it to me. I think he does more to elevate this movie than any other film he is in. There's, you know, Remember the Titans? He's incredible. And I think he doesn't get maybe the credit for being, like, really a top-level acting talent. But I think this movie, his war is, like, off the charts. If there's somebody else in that role, the gravitas, the authority, all of that stuff goes away, and then it just becomes kind of silly. He just controls the screen. And I think he's got a case. I do think it's Michael Bay. It's the Baypex. But I think I would say that Billy Bob has a good case for this being his Apex. He's really neck and neck with Ed Harris and Apollo 13 as my favorite NASA director, my favorite mission control guy. Yeah. Who's your least favorite? That's a good call. My least favorite? That's a great question, Bill. Next rewatch, as you can answer. I'm going Monster's Ball for Billy Bob. That's fair. Because. You won an Oscar out of that one. I mean, he didn't, but the movie did. She did. Yeah, that's fine. Pulls it off for Halle Berry. I think. Did he direct that one? He did not. He did not. Isn't that Sean Puffy Combs' Apex Mountain? He produced it. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. Billy Bob's weird. It's a weird career where you look at his IMDb and there's a lot more misses than I'm prepared for, but I think everybody likes him. Everybody loves him. That's why he gets so many misses. Yeah. We can watch Astronaut Farmer if you want right now. I'm like, all right, let's do it. How about 90s disaster movies, Chris? Was this Apex Mountain? It's this or Titanic. Titanic. I think you have to bow down to Titanic in this case. Yeah. That's fair. Any other Apex Mountains? Aerosmith? Keith David? Second Apex for Aerosmith? It cannot be Aerosmith. It's not Aerosmith. Keith David's Apex Mountain is him continuing to cash voice actor checks. He's an incredible voice. As he will for the rest of his life. Incredible. I don't think it's Keith David. It's the Baypex. We know it. It is the Baypex. It's the Baypex. Before we get to the rest of this pod, I have to tell you guys a quick story. Please do. I started dating my wife in the summer of 98. She's from upstate New York. And we went to a wedding in spring of 1999, which was the same day as the LJ four point shot, which I watched in a bar next to the reception. But during the reception, they came out to the Armageddon, I don't want to close my eyes theme song. Was their first dance song. And I was like, what the hell? And then LJ hit his four point shot like 10 minutes later. I'm like, what the hell is going on? What a time to be alive. Has my soul left my body? Is this Y2K yet? They unironically came out to the Armageddon song as their first dance. And I didn't know what the fuck to do. And I had to like walk away because I was going to start laughing. All right. Next category is picking nets. It's one of the rare times of the rewatchable's history where it's almost like we have to punt on the category. I did want to I did want to say Will Patton's wife in this movie can fuck off. She's out on him. We don't know what he did. Yeah, we don't know about what he did. You can't just disregard her. We don't know what it is. How is it? First of all, it's obviously what he did. He fucking gambled away his kid's college fund at the cap stable at Caesars. Second of all. Yeah. It's like, how is this a nitpick? I get it. I get the setup. But then it's like, oh, wait, I didn't realize you were on this cool crew. All right. You're back in. Hey, honey, that's your dad. Like it was just like, come on. If that's not enough. He's got a job. You're back in on the guy. Fuck that. If saving the world isn't enough to get you back in the good graces. I don't know what. I don't know what else he could do, Bill. Well, because their son can go to college now. Yeah. How about that? He's willing to claim him. Bill, how bad do you want the second Armageddon 2 to be just the first fight Will Patton and his ex have like after that? When he gambles it away again? You know, there's like five days of like pretty good honeymoon feeling. And then it's like the first time she's like, so are you going to watch the kid or are you just going to be a hero for the rest of your life? Yeah. I thought that was bullshit and I didn't like her performance.
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