Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
67:16 – 72:57… it was like, this is the Tango and Cash heroin, Tango and Cash crack, I would have tried it. I would have tried it. Well, you try it every time it's on TNT. Apex Mountain. Stallone, no. Kurt Russell. So I was thinking about it because Tequila Sunrise is the year before. Talk yourself into it. Well, late 80s Kurt Russell, I do feel like he had a lot of sway at that point for whatever reason. But I don't feel like it's there yet. I do think Tombstone was probably, after Tombstone, I feel like he had the most juice because we know this because they did Escape from L.A. as a sequel in 96. Tombstone is so good. …
The whole segment, as transcribed
I don't drink or even smoke cigarettes. But if you gave me a drug and it was like, this is the Tango and Cash heroin, Tango and Cash crack, I would have tried it. I would have tried it. Well, you try it every time it's on TNT. Apex Mountain. Stallone, no. Kurt Russell. So I was thinking about it because Tequila Sunrise is the year before. Talk yourself into it. Well, late 80s Kurt Russell, I do feel like he had a lot of sway at that point for whatever reason. But I don't feel like it's there yet. I do think Tombstone was probably, after Tombstone, I feel like he had the most juice because we know this because they did Escape from L.A. as a sequel in 96. Tombstone is so good. Yeah, so I feel like it's probably mid-90s for him. I think part of the reason this movie is so much fun, Tango and Cash, I mean, is because it's not Apex Mountain for anybody in it. Not one single person. Except for Face. Even his is Maniac Cop. Right. Yeah, Brian James, it's got to be 48 hours. Buddy Cop movies, in the 80s Buddy Cop movies, you have the second. I have it a little lower, but for unintentional buddy cop movies, it might be unintentional comedy buddy cop movies that might be up there. Apex Mountain for the Los Angeles Chronicle. There it is. 12. You did it. You did it. 12 front pages. All right, this is a tough one. I'm going to let you decide. Stallone prison movies. Apex Mountain. Would you go this or Lockup? No, Lockup. Lockup is too good. Lockup has a prison football game in it. In the mud. This is your audition for the Lockup rewatchables, and your application has been accepted. Because the prison football game is one of the best sports scenes of the last 35 years that's not in a sports movie. I love that scene. They're running the fucking power eye to perfection. That's what they're doing. Also, like, until Cliffhanger, the most grunts and... That Stallone's ever done in a movie. It's like seven different times. He's just either hanging from something or breaking through something or fighting off something. I love... I fucking love when Eclipse comes in, and he just grabs the lineman, and he's like, or whoever, get on the other team. You're already playing for them. And he's just doing it himself now. He fucking takes two positions. Eclipse just comes in. He's like, just run behind me, baby. Yeah, that's when you talk about, like, when Cruise trying to do sports movies versus, like, Stallone in Lockup. Stallone, it's just a whole other level of believable athlete. Lethal Weapon ripoffs, clearly Apex Mountain. Cross the Beam moments. I was trying to think of meta moments where a character acknowledges that they've been another character in another movie, even though they're playing the character in the movie. This is way up there. I don't know what the Apex Mountain is for that. But... I think it might be this. I think... Maybe you can argue. I don't know if this exactly applies, but they make that joke in Last Action Hero, where Stallone is Terminator, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is looking at the poster, like, that sort of stuff. But, yeah, just because it's Stallone making fun of wasn't one of his most iconic creations ever, it's really high up there. Best racehorse name. is the next category. Mm-hmm. Would you... So you're at the Kentucky Derby, and there's three horses. One is called Ray Tango. One is called Tango and Cash. And one is just called Tango. Which one would you bet on? I would bet on Tango. Just Tango. I love the name Tango. Just Tango. It's so good. Ray Tango. We didn't talk about, like... Tango, obviously an Italian name. Did they shorten it when his ancestors got off the boat in 1918? Was it Tanguy O'Leary? And they just said, yeah, we're shopping that Tango. Don't see Tango. I haven't seen Tango a lot in real life. It's definitely... His full name was Raymond Tangalini. Right. And he was like, I'm never going to make it in America with his name. Pick a nits. So why would Tango and Cash cop a plea? Were you okay with that? Yeah. They're just going to be felons and they don't get to be cops anymore? What happens? Man, who knows? Okay. Who knows? They plead no contest. No contest? That basically means you can't be a cop again, right? I'm certain. Pretty sure. 18 months for murder. It's like... They're admitting guilt? There's a lot going on. They get transferred to a maximum security prison and none of this is weird at all. Nobody's monitoring where they went. Nobody comes to look for them. Yeah. Nobody's like, where are these guys? What happened to everybody at the other prison who's waiting for them? They just don't show up. That's kind of skipped over. We mentioned this earlier. How fast do they get killed in prison? It's at least five minutes. They're just both dead. Nobody... So they escape from prison. Listen, nobody stakes out the apartment that Tango's stripper sister lives in. Nobody's like, let's send one person there just in case he goes there. He's got one family member.
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