Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
28:56 – 35:43… know. It's amazing. The colonel. He's wonderful. This movie's elite. Is he your favorite pederast in film? Well, thank you, Eddie. It's another like line up. Apex Mountain for pederasts? It's either him or the Jesus in the Big Lebowski. Oh, that's right. He has to go notify everybody. When I first started watching this movie all the time on my legal cable box, that's when I was living with my roommate, Richard, my last roommate before my wife moved in. And we watched Boogie Nights and we were just constantly, we were talking like the colonel, like, well, thank you, Eddie. It's like I brought you back a coffee. …
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and goes, well, thank you, Eddie. And then they keep it on him for like eight seconds. I know. It's amazing. The colonel. He's wonderful. This movie's elite. Is he your favorite pederast in film? Well, thank you, Eddie. It's another like line up. Apex Mountain for pederasts? It's either him or the Jesus in the Big Lebowski. Oh, that's right. He has to go notify everybody. When I first started watching this movie all the time on my legal cable box, that's when I was living with my roommate, Richard, my last roommate before my wife moved in. And we watched Boogie Nights and we were just constantly, we were talking like the colonel, like, well, thank you, Eddie. It's like I brought you back a coffee. Thank you, Eddie. Thank you. We went to like a place with Boogie Nights I can't even describe. Just taking lines and just incorporating them. Think about how fun Robert Ridgely would be like in real life. Like, because that's the story is Robert Ridgely and Ernie Adams, who's PTA's father, they were really close friends. Yeah. And he tells this really heartbreaking story at the end of the commentary about how they died, like, within days of each other. Yeah. And so that was just like the darkest period. And Magnolia in part comes out of that. But, I mean, they seem like two pretty big crack ups. Like in the 70s, hanging out with Tim Conway, having drinks, and 11 year old PTA hanging out with those guys. I mean, that must have been the time of his life. Well, I was going to say this later, but this is a good spot for this, when the colonel's butter in my ass speech. Oh, and Ridgely's cracking up in the back? Ridgely breaks in the back and he has to kind of blur him. You can see, I somehow never noticed this for a couple years. I think it actually works for this scene that, like, somebody would laugh at that. Like, it's almost, like, because... You can see him for people listening who didn't notice. You see it as like Philip Baker Hall. You're like, oh, Philip Baker Hall is going to be really buttoned up here or whatever. And then he's just like... You see him kind of laughing a little bit. And then when he's buttering my ass, live puffs in my mouth, that's just what I like. And you see Ridgely just like having like a stroke in the back. It's the funniest fucking thing. And it's so good. Like, PTA can't cut that. You can't be like, oh, we got to do that again. Rob, Bob was laughing in the background. I think Chris is right. Like, it contributes to it and it's perfect. And now it's like an Easter egg. Have you ever read Reed's poem in the hot tub to another woman? Because that's the next scene. I love you. I can't... He's a genius. He's a genius, Riley. That is amazing. What does he say? Like, down in the sugar tree? Yeah. But the bees won't sting. Because she loved me. My next big rewatchable scene is that Dirk's going to be a star montage, which... After the first shoot? When he comes up with his name? After the first shoot. Now, the first shoot, you could argue, is a rewatchable as well. That's the only, like, real sex part. They get a little heated, but the reactions going around with Dirk, when she's like... Everybody turning their head. It's a huge cock. When we cut to Ricky J and the other guy. Then we cut to Little Bill, who's just like, Jesus. Like, he's already, like, messed up emotionally anyway from his wife. Then Philip Seymour Hoffman. Scotty J quivering. He's holding. He's like, oh! And then the... Ricky and Reed doing the tilt, which I thought is, like, such a great choice. Why are their heads tilting? What would... What would you be seeing? They're trying to get the proportions, you know? Just trying to make sure it's a 360 experience. But that part, I like that scene just because it gets me into the Dirk's going to be a star montage. We get a shopping spree. We get to find out his thoughts on imported Italian nylon. He gets his hair done. We get his hair done. He get a little... little on the set of Spanish pantalones. I can roll her over and go right in doggy style. Should I use the Spanish accent? We get to see the marquee and then the reading reviews kill me. Oh my god. I tried to freeze frame it to see if I could get, like, just read you guys like two paragraphs but it's hard to see. And it's all just like another suck-tastic. Diggler's more eruptive than a volcano on a bad day. Yeah, he makes, like, a little weird choices, too. Like, it starts off with Jack reading and then he double tracks with Amber reading over it so you're hearing them almost at the same time. Yeah. And then the split screen and then they split into four screens and then you're seeing scenes from Spanish pantalones and then you're also seeing scenes of, like, Dirk trying on clothes and then all of a sudden it goes to the dance sequence. Apex Mountain of people reading their own reviews, this or Citizen Dick in singles. Oh my god. I would go with this. I love the four screen, too, because it's with the square TVs in the late 90s. What do you do with that? You can only see, like, you couldn't even see the other two sides, but, um, and it goes right into the disco scene, which is so fucking funny. And just, it's actually really fun to watch. It's played so straight. Yeah. He, like, he kind of wants to make, like, a studio musical. It's like Adam Shankman? It's Adam Shankman who went on to be, like, a filmmaker. That's a director. It's when Roller Girl comes in and he swirls her around. I don't know. It's just so goddamn enjoyable. The woman dancing with Dirk in that scene is incredible. Like, a great dancer. I don't know. She's like fake Jennifer Beals or whatever. Yeah, she's great. It goes right from that to now we're in the van with them pitching Brock Landers and Chess Rockwell. Dirk, you gotta work on a colonel too, Dirk. I mean, you gotta be committed. Right, right, Jack. I'll do whatever I have to do. Does this character have a name? His name is Brock Landers. His partner's name is Chess Rockwell. They're great names. So, my take was that they were driving to Vegas for the award show. Is that right? Like, is the adult video awards or whatever? Oh yeah, you're right. It's the second annual adult film awards. Yeah. Okay. So, they're going. Yeah, fair. And, I love how earnest he is, Wahlberg. Yeah, he's like, John Holmes, he's disrespectful to women. Meanwhile, like, That's not cool. In Brock Landers' Oral Majesty 7, he's like, slapping multiple women. He's abandoned that strategy. Do you think it was a good idea to raise the specter of John Holmes in this movie? Because then it creates a reality I liked it. where this is real. It's kind of like Kendall Roy showing up in industry. Right. Yeah. Right. Oh, interesting. So, you're saying Boogie Nights should exist in a world where John Holmes doesn't exist. Well, we're getting into Like, it's too meta. But to me, it's sort of like, is there a world in which there is a Dirk Diggler and John Holmes and they're both the biggest star in porno? It's already weird that there's one male star in straight porno. Yeah. So, two? Yeah. The guy's name is Brock Landers. His partner is Chess Rockwell. And he cuts to Reynolds. He's like, those are great names! He's so excited.
132:25 – 141:57… There's one with Buck giving Amber Carstero advice in the van. So funny. And there's just kind of more of everything, but you can find all that stuff online. Apex Mountain. Mark Wahlberg, no. No. Paul Thomas Anderson, no. We sure? As a filmmaker, for me personally, yes, but I would say no for him career-wise. Here's what happened. We went out to dinner, the three of us, Jeff, and Koppelman and Levine. And Koppelman very pointedly said, Sean, what's your ranking of PTA movies? And I shared it and you got really mad because I didn't have Boogie Nights 1. Yep. And you do. I do. So does that make it his Apex …
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his feelings to cut it. Good to know he has a line. The deleted for a reason includes of the scenes we didn't mention yet. There's one with Buck giving Amber Carstero advice in the van. So funny. And there's just kind of more of everything, but you can find all that stuff online. Apex Mountain. Mark Wahlberg, no. No. Paul Thomas Anderson, no. We sure? As a filmmaker, for me personally, yes, but I would say no for him career-wise. Here's what happened. We went out to dinner, the three of us, Jeff, and Koppelman and Levine. And Koppelman very pointedly said, Sean, what's your ranking of PTA movies? And I shared it and you got really mad because I didn't have Boogie Nights 1. Yep. And you do. I do. So does that make it his Apex Mountain if it's your favorite? because I don't think he fully had the juice until There Will Be Blood. Until There Will Be Blood. I think that coming out of that movie, then he can make anything he wants. I don't know if that was totally the case until then. I agree. Is it, where is it for you on your list? It's two. Two. Yeah. It's two for me. It's two and there was a time I think before, like maybe the last year or so where I was like, the master was up there. They probably switched places. They're just so different. I mean, the master is so different from Boogie Nights. Apex Mountain imported Italian leather. I mean, Ricardo Montalban talking about leather. Maybe that's it. What about David Preval's jacket on The Sopranos? Oh, that's a good one. I'll give you my jacket. Donut shops? No. Has there ever been a better donut shop moment? I mean, what good donut shop moments are there? Donut shops and cinema? Yeah. I would say yes. Okay. Ridgely, yes. Yep. Nina Hartley, I don't know enough about the twists and turns of Nina's career, but I would say as a mainstream actress, yes. Phil Hoffman background acting. Would you go here or Magnolia? Here. Here. I would actually go Magnolia. He's in that one shot Magnolia. He's amazing in Magnolia. Burt Reynolds, no. Thomas Jane. Not Hung? House loved Hung. I never liked Hung. First season was pretty good. Good premise. I'm going to say 61 for Thomas Jane. Because after you played Mickey Mantle, I was like, this guy. That's good. The A-plus lister. Will you be watching Aaron Judge on Apple TV Plus tonight? I will not. Okay. Heather Graham. I'm going to say Austin Powers, too. This era, though. Sure. Coming out, Austin Powers, too, it's like, this is going to be one of the biggest stars of this decade. Is it crazy to be like, she was the sex symbol of my teenage years? I guess there was the, like, Anna Nicole Smith, Jenny McCarthy. Like, there was a wave of Carmen Electra and all them, but for actresses? Well, look who she's competing against. It's like Jennifer Love Hewitt. I mean, she was definitely the best actress of the bunch. Yeah. And was often in the best movies. Wes Covina? Definitely. Yeah. Wes Covina's in My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, right? I've never seen that show. What was Julianne Moore's Apex Mountain? Because it's probably not Boogie Nets. She's had an unbelievable career. Or was it Boogie Nets? The Hours? Did she win for The Hours? No, she won for Still Alice. Yeah. Which is a make-up for not winning for the three other times she was nominated. Gosh, it's hard to say. I mean, every, maybe Far From Heaven, the Todd Haynes movie. Yeah, that's good. Because she's like, when that movie came out, people were like, wow, Julianne Moore might be the best living actress. The case for Boogie Nights is coming out of this movie, she was all of a sudden could get any parts she wanted. Yeah. So, maybe. What about, You got the touch? Would you go this or Transformers? I think this for me. Okay. What do you just get, Chris? What about Big Beautiful Cocks in mainstream movies? Seriously, it's not real. This one isn't real. Well, I didn't say they were real cocks. Big Beautiful Prosthetics. There's a huge dick shot in the movie Bruno, the Sacha Baron Cohen movie. Ricky Jay. Might be. I like him a lot in House of Games. Yeah, me too. Movies about porn, yes. Luis Guzman, I wish Jacoby would come in here, he would say it was How to Make it in America. It's also out of sight. Yeah, out of sight, I would go over this for him. Can I, I'm being completely serious. Does this movie have the best parties in movie history? Incredible question. Movie parties. Yeah. That's pretty good. I can't think of like, Project X. Yeah. But there's like a couple, like I'm sure I'm not thinking of it, but these, the parties in this movie are fucking incredible. I'm with you. But if you went to one of these parties, your life would be over. That's, yeah, that's true. John C. Reilly? Apex Mountain? No, Step Brothers. Step Brothers. Or Chicago. William H. Macy, Don Cheadle, no. Yeah, Chicago, you got nominated for an Oscar. That's what I'm saying. And everybody was like, wow, he's also a song and dance. Or Jerry Buss. I mean, he's, that's the other thing too with Riley, is like Riley is still crushing. Yeah, still going. 2022. Characters name, side characters named Floyd. I have this over Floyd and True Romance, but it's close. They're in the finals. I have Floyd True Romance. Over Floyd Gondali? As a name or as a character? Character. Floyd and True Romance is in two scenes. Floyd and True Romance is in two scenes. That's true. He just represents your essence. I know. Penn Brothers. Is this Apex Mountain for a member of a Penn family? I'm surprised Sean Penn didn't play Rahat. He was up for that. Or he was up for that. It's upsetting. He should have been in this movie, especially because Michael was in there. It's funny how many times he's been rumored to be in a PTA movie. They're clearly friends. And he finally did it to play William Holden in Licorice. For like 10 minutes. Yeah. What took so long? Bob Ridgely, 100%. Yes. The song Sister Christian and Jessie Girl? Jessie's Girl? I mean, I think it's probably topping the charts. Yeah. Jessie's Girl is probably when it was released and it went to number one. Sister Christian, I think this movie is the Apex though. But Jessie's Girl still goes really hard on the radio. Can anybody name another Night Ranger song? No. Okay. Me neither. Philip Becker-Hall? Did Night Ranger do Lose Your Love? Use Your Love? That's the outfield. That's the outfield. Right? Yeah. That's a huge Patriots song. That's played in like three minutes left of Close Games. Lose Your Love is? Do you guys have Close Games still? No. Your Love by the Outfield. Oh, what's Lose Your Love? I didn't like that joke. Is that a different song? I don't want to use your love tonight. Yeah. The whole crowd sings it. It's great. Philip Becker-Hall, yes. So that's like when Mac Jones has been immobilized? No. I don't know if they're singing it as much these days. Reseda is a film location. This or Karate Kid. Oh, yeah. I think it's Karate Kid. Oh, wow. Reseda just feels more important than Karate Kid. It's either this or it's Tom Petty mentioning Reseda. Hmm. That's all I have for Apex Mountain. I know it was a lot. So was this their Hall of Fame plaque movie? I'm just going to throw this for Wahlberg. I'm going to say yes. I think yes, too. It's the best movie that's built around him. Yeah. I don't know if it's his best performance. What would you say his best performance is? Well, I get such a kick out of him in The Departed. I know, but it's not built around him, though. What do you think about The Fighter? No, it's not close to booginess. But it's not close to as a movie. I still think of that as a Christian Bale movie, too. Supporting character of the movie is built around Wahlberg. All right, so we'll disagree. Best race horse name. I'm going to give you Dirk Diggler, Mr. Torpedo, Eddie Adams, Johnny Doe, Colonel James, or Spanish Pantalonis. You're not going to have Brock Landers as your horse name? I should have had that down. Okay, first of all, the Colonel. That's your horse. Can you name a horse Dirk's cock? Big, beautiful cock? Or, here comes big, beautiful cock! Or, what I would want is full fucking race cams. That's good. I like that. My personal favorite is Spanish Pantalonis. That's good. I would absolutely bet on that one. Was this the right title? It's boogie nits. I mean, we don't even need to do that one. Yeah, I had Amber, are you my mom? I wrote Dirty Movie. That's good. All right, now it's time. We're picking nits. I can't wait. I, the distance between Torrance and Reseda is 33 miles. Eddie's taking the bus to fucking Reseda to work at a disco. But we know why. It's a, I know why, but it's 90 minutes round trip. But he is waiting to be recognized in the valley because he has this dick. Right. So he's like, how do I get in? That's like the unwritten part of the beginning of the movie is why is Eddie in the valley and why does Jack pick him out? And I think it's supposed to be like, the word on the street is if you want to get in adult movies, you go there. Eddie's, Eddie knows who Jack is when he gets there. I get it. I get all the reasons. I just wanted to pick Torrance. Torrance is too far from Reseda. Everybody has their one special thing and his dream was to be a big star. He would have to be from like Tarzana, right? I actually like it. Tarzana. It shows you how ambitious Eddie is and that he is destined to become Dirk. Eddie charges five to look at his dick, but 10 for the jerk off. Just terrible pricing. Like how about. What do you charge?
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