Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
33:36 – 36:23… right now. If you were a young person in the 80s, how difficult it was to get even a basic image of a naked woman. It was so hard. This is the scrambled porn Apex Mountain. You couldn't do it unless your friend's dad had a Playboy. Like, you could not get it no matter what. And so it was so crazy that those things were on the computer like that. It blew us away. You're scouring closets looking for any cassette or anything. Anything. In a guest bedroom that maybe your uncle left me. You just didn't know. The liner notes of Appetite for Destruction have like an illustration of a kind of naked woman. It's really …
The whole segment, as transcribed
Just a computer rendition. And I think it's important that we've revisited this topic a few times over the years. I can't explain to young people right now. If you were a young person in the 80s, how difficult it was to get even a basic image of a naked woman. It was so hard. This is the scrambled porn Apex Mountain. You couldn't do it unless your friend's dad had a Playboy. Like, you could not get it no matter what. And so it was so crazy that those things were on the computer like that. It blew us away. You're scouring closets looking for any cassette or anything. Anything. In a guest bedroom that maybe your uncle left me. You just didn't know. The liner notes of Appetite for Destruction have like an illustration of a kind of naked woman. It's really gross and weird. But I would look at it and be like, that's something. I'm the guy who would go to the magazine store and be like, can I get a Playboy? It's for my dad. It's just nuts. I just wanted to see it. And you couldn't. The candy bar scene. Yeah. How about that? Which might pop up in a couple other categories. Really? I don't know, man. The 80s were just different. I like how fucking weird it is. Yeah. Our guy, Carl the Janitor from Breakfast Club's in it. Kapilos. Playing Dino. She likes the Molaccas, Dino. Hall is just going for it. He's basically doing a Richard Pryor impersonation, which they said in the research that Hughes and Anthony McHall just both love Richard Pryor. And they wanted a scene where it's basically like, let's just do Richard Pryor for four minutes. It's bonkers. I don't know. I still enjoy watching it. They soft tested the Richard Pryor too, because in the Breakfast Club, when the kids all get high, all of a sudden, Brian starts doing like chicks can't hold their smoke. That's what it is. And Judd Nelson's laughing at him. So someone, probably many people, including like studio execs, were like, yes, yes. Anthony Michael Hall doing that voice and getting high and drunk. Put more of that in the next movie. It's awesome. Whereas now they'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We got to cut that. It's unbelievable. One of the things I like about the scenes, though, is how much the actors seem to be enjoying it or sitting around the table. They're actually getting a genuine kick out of how fucking crazy he is. Yeah. The candy bar with an eye. Candy with an eye. Sure. That's the name of the bar. Chet tries to make Gary throw up. Drunk Gary. How about greasy pork sandwich? Like all the stuff. This is a classic Big Brother shit. Served in a dirty ass tray. Yeah. This is an unbelievable, great Bill Paxton. And I also think that Anthony Michael Hall is hilarious in this scene. If you don't like him at the club, whatever, it's not aged well. Just playing a drunk guy when he's like, no shit, Chet. No shit, Chet. It's fucking perfect.
51:21 – 54:12… having a good time now? Catatonic in a closet. Every time I laugh. A couple more. They made a TV series in the mid-90s with Vanessa Angel as Lisa during her Apex Mountain. When she was in Dumb and Dumber and then the weird science TV show. I never watched it. I don't know if you were focused on it at all. Not only did I never see an episode. I don't know anyone who's ever seen an episode. But Bill, apparently it was a very successful show. It went on for years. 88 episodes. Good for them. I couldn't tell you what channel it was on. What channel was it on? It was on USA. I think. But I'm not totally sure …
The whole segment, as transcribed
Wyatt's grandparents just being frozen in the closet is so fucking funny. I don't know who thought of that. But congratulations to that person. Do you think they're having a good time now? Catatonic in a closet. Every time I laugh. A couple more. They made a TV series in the mid-90s with Vanessa Angel as Lisa during her Apex Mountain. When she was in Dumb and Dumber and then the weird science TV show. I never watched it. I don't know if you were focused on it at all. Not only did I never see an episode. I don't know anyone who's ever seen an episode. But Bill, apparently it was a very successful show. It went on for years. 88 episodes. Good for them. I couldn't tell you what channel it was on. What channel was it on? It was on USA. I think. But I'm not totally sure because I never watched it. LeBrock's speech. I guess Lisa's speech at the end when she's mad. They try to create a second woman and she's like, you had to be big shots, didn't you? You had to show off. When are you going to learn that people like you for who you are, not for what you can give them? Pretty good life lesson. Don't be a big shot. Be who you are. I think at that point, Gary and Wyatt are like, all right, enough of this fucking shit. Right. Enough of this lady. I don't think we get it. Get her out of here. Yeah. Two more. The Piano Lady was played by Kim Malin. Kim with a Y. Talk about it. May 1982, Playboy Playmate. Her three best IMDb credits. Weird Science, Girl Playing Piano. Great. Die Hard, Hostage. Roadhouse, Party Girl. Unbelievable. And Die Hard, Hostage. It's a borderline new category. The Kim Malin, your best three IMDb category, just with no context. Weird Science, Die Hard, Roadhouse. Like, wow. Can't beat it. I want you to reference it in future pods. Be like, the classic Kim Malin run of the 80s. Let's talk about the run. Triple Crown. She does. This is like Hanks in the 90s. It's Triple Crown. And by the way, she's not only the hostage in Die Hard. She's the hostage that Hans Gruber's goon find having sex back in the office. And she is top less than Die Hard. Oh, you're right. She is in the Rewind the Scene Hall of Fame. You're like, oh my God, Die Hard has boobs? Let me rewind it again. That's her. And she filed that up with Roadhouse. Can you, I mean, Jesus. Can you imagine? Because when you're like a young actor in Hollywood, like it's just a series of calls home to your parents, hopefully. And like, how's it going? How's it going? And she's like, yeah, I got a role in this John Hughes movie. Yeah. Oh, like Molly Ringwald? Kind of. I play piano and then the wind blows my clothes off. Great, honey. Great job. So John Cazale is the best five movie IMDb run. What's that? Godfather, Godfather 2, Dog Day Afternoon, The Conversation, Deer Hunter.
63:09 – 65:57… so we don't step on it. What else did you have, Kyle? All right. Well, I have more to say on the kiss. You know what I was thinking of? I was going to do an Apex Mountain for uncomfortable kisses. It's not quite De Niro and Juliette Lewis and Cape Fear, which I feel like a crime is being committed as I'm watching it. It's so horrible. And Marty's just sitting like, yeah, let's keep, let's go. Yeah. Sucker fingers. There's an infamous one in a movie called Blank Check where Duff, the VJ from MTV, like is kissing this little boy passionately that's fucked up. I guess, what can we say? I guess it was looked at …
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Instead of best character name, I had worst character name. And it's just naming your dream girl Lisa with just no thought. All right. We'll stay on for what's the worst. And then we'll, we can do your flex so we don't step on it. What else did you have, Kyle? All right. Well, I have more to say on the kiss. You know what I was thinking of? I was going to do an Apex Mountain for uncomfortable kisses. It's not quite De Niro and Juliette Lewis and Cape Fear, which I feel like a crime is being committed as I'm watching it. It's so horrible. And Marty's just sitting like, yeah, let's keep, let's go. Yeah. Sucker fingers. There's an infamous one in a movie called Blank Check where Duff, the VJ from MTV, like is kissing this little boy passionately that's fucked up. I guess, what can we say? I guess it was looked at differently because a lot of people saw this and said it was fine back then. But now we're like, this is weird. Well, 15 year old Bill was like, this is the best thing I've ever seen in my life. And Bill paid. Maybe this will happen to me. Yeah. Yeah. I know. All right. Craig, what do you have for your flex? Let's just get it over with. Yeah. Well, outside of naming your dream girl, Lisa. What would you have named your dream girl, by the way? Yeah. What would it be? I don't know. I mean, I guess, I guess it was Lisa a cool name in 1985. Because there's no. Craig, you should have said Liz. I'd left that. I gave that. Set that up. It was like a fucking alley-oop. Thanks for the rim for you. Jesus Christ. But I see her as something more than just some robot. How dare you? Yeah. Good audible. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's like, who's naming their daughter Lisa in 2020? Is it like Hazel or something? The Simpsons ruined Lisa. Like, that's it. Lisa Simpson. You're not naming your dream girl Lisa after Lisa Simpson. I just think that it's out. I feel a little bit bad now, now that you said he's 15 and a half. But I'm going to give the, I've only used this category once and I gave it to Ethan Embry. But it's the Matt Flynn $26 million contract award for the actor I can't believe we thought was a lead. And that's Elin Mitchell Smith, who I think drags this movie down. And if you could just like put Robert Downey Jr. just as him, the whole movie is so much better. He's tough in this movie. Am I wrong? I mean, I like this movie and we'll get into it at the end. But every time he has to deliver a line, it's kind of rough, right? You know what it's very similar to is the Wiley Wiggins dazed and confused performance as Mitch Kramer. Good call. Yeah. Where it's just, you're putting a lot on him. You know, it's. You really are. It's, it's, I'm trying to, who's the quarterback in 2025 where it's just like, man, I don't know. This is a lot of offense to throw at this. It's like JJ McCarthy right now. It's like, oh, Jesus. Yeah, he's not ready. Oh no. He's got these two receivers and Kevin O'Connell, but I don't know if he can complain a straight pass. Yeah. As Craig is someone who like spent years with this movie, you just kind of tolerate him. You know, it's not right. He's our guy. Just like Wiley Wiggins, you tolerate him.
81:28 – 86:25… And then even in serious movies like Aliens when he's just saying, Game over, man. Like, that's so fucking funny. So when he does it, he does it great. Apex Mountain. Yeah. Anthony Michael Hall. I'm going to say yes. It is. This is like, right? This weird science breakfast club combo is right when it happened. Elon Mitchell Smith. Definitely yes. Oh, yeah. Kelly LeBrock. Also a yes. Woman in red. Then this. Paxton, no. Asshole older brothers in a comedy. I'm going to say yes. I think Chet's like... Chet's as good as we did. He's competing against the Home Alone older brother. Like, there's a couple. …
The whole segment, as transcribed
Yeah, everyone loves Bill Paxton. And I just... You don't get him doing comedy much. It's like... No. It's here. It's true lies when he's hilarious. And then even in serious movies like Aliens when he's just saying, Game over, man. Like, that's so fucking funny. So when he does it, he does it great. Apex Mountain. Yeah. Anthony Michael Hall. I'm going to say yes. It is. This is like, right? This weird science breakfast club combo is right when it happened. Elon Mitchell Smith. Definitely yes. Oh, yeah. Kelly LeBrock. Also a yes. Woman in red. Then this. Paxton, no. Asshole older brothers in a comedy. I'm going to say yes. I think Chet's like... Chet's as good as we did. He's competing against the Home Alone older brother. Like, there's a couple. Buzz. But I still feel like Chet's the best. Buzz doesn't win because the Home Alone uncle, Frank, is worse than Buzz. And he takes all his shine. But yeah, Chet is horrible. Shermer High School. Probably Breakfast Club. Definitely. John Hughes. Heat check time. Heat check. He's making a movie about a guy's making a woman. And they're like, yeah, sure. Do it. Whatever you want. Same year as Breakfast Club. I think it's Breakfast Club, though, which comes out after. Right? Does it come out after or before? No, Breakfast Club is February 85. This is August 85. Oh, Breakfast Club came out before. So I think it's Breakfast Club. Either way, it's Breakfast Club. Although some people would say it's the late 80s when he writes Home Alone. Sure. But I don't even know. Bill, I've wrestled with this my whole life. Do you like Breakfast Club or Ferris better? Breakfast Club, I've seen more times. They're both pantheon for me. But Breakfast Club is an all-timer for me. For years and years of my life, I would say Breakfast Club is my favorite movie. I don't really anymore. But I think it's just by a nose over Ferris. I love Ferris, though. It's one of, especially as my brain's going, as I've hit my 50s here. But it's one of the only movies I can still quote accurately. I know. It's fun. Larry Lester's buns, taping them together. And you know what they do in that movie? It's the same thing they do here. Hughes always makes you eat your vegetables. There's always going to be some sort of sentimental scene at the end. It's not just horny high school stuff. But Andrew Clark getting high and crying about his dad. This is Gary and Wyatt being like, I want you to like me for me. That's why that's not really my car. Hughes will always give you a little bit of green beans on the side. Toads? Apex Mountain for people being turned into a toad. I'm going to say yes. So is he a toad or is he a pile of shit? What is that creature? Is he a pile of feces? Is he a frog? I don't even know what it is. He's a feces toad that eats flies. Yes. Greasy pork sandwiches on dirty ashtray. Yes. How about this? 80s high school party scenes. I got it on my list. And I'll say it as boldly as I can. This is the one for me. This is number one high school party movie in any decade. It's just. And the reasons why I think that fucking house is amazing. Why it has this huge mansion with like a lake outside and a gate. She uses magic. So like there's all this food and like the lighting is perfect. There's a full bar with bartenders and scotch and stuff. And like the music's cool. And there's. This is the party I wanted to go to when I was a little kid. That's fair. 80s fantasy women. No. Unless they're created from a from a computer. Sure. And then 80s houses coming back together right before the parents get home. I still think it's risky business. Definitely. Well the auction. Unloading Guido the killer pimp. Yeah. Pulling the. Carrying the egg. Bringing the stuff back. So good. Great stuff. Cruise or Hanks. Cruise as Wyatt. Like early 80s Cruise. Like outsiders Cruise. I was thinking of like of losing it Cruise. Losing it Cruise. That's Wyatt. And by the way. When's the losing it pod bill? When's that coming? Him and Shelly Long. You only have so many Cruise phones left. I think Cruise bought that out. I don't think it exists. It's like how Johnny Depp bought a private resort with him in. Who's the guy? Rob Morrow. Yeah. You can't find that movie. The movie's gone. You can't find soul man. You can't find losing it. And I remember I read like a rundown once. The cruise did with entertainment weekly where he gave like one take on all his movies that he did. And they're like losing it. He's like. Yeah. That really made me learn about what projects to pick. And that was like his only comment. I don't think he's proud. It's not good. And then he went and bought every copy that was left. Scorsese or Spielberg? Probably Spielberg. I think the horny teenage thing would have resonated with him in some way. I think Spielberg for sure. I just think like. How cool was it dude? That Hughes and Spielberg just holding down the 80s on totally different corners. Totally different types of movies. Never worked together. Never crossed over. Like the closest they got was that Chris Columbus was a Spielberg protege. And he ended up directing home alone. If they could have movie swapped, I would have Spielberg direct weird science. And I would have Hughes direct the Goonies, which he produced. But like the kids. Oh, wow. That they get into. Like that would be the perfect swap.
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