Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
59:10 – 65:21… Not a child! Not a child! You did it, Al! Jesus Christ. You're actually going, what's age the worst? All right. So, Jimmy Pants goes to Paul Gleason. Let's do Apex Mountain really fast. Okay. Bruce Willis. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. More than Pulp Fiction. Just let me do a little bit of Bruce Willis talk. No, Bruce Willis, just go down his IMDb. Almost every movie he makes after this, up until Pulp Fiction, is the worst movie made by a good director. You've got Michael Lehman, who made Heathers and then makes Hudson Hawk. You've got Robert Benton, who worked on Bonnie and Clyde, who makes Billy Bathgate. You've got …
The whole segment, as transcribed
It's like, you got over your crippling fear of murdering another person. Yeah! That's right! Not a child! Not a child! You did it, Al! Jesus Christ. You're actually going, what's age the worst? All right. So, Jimmy Pants goes to Paul Gleason. Let's do Apex Mountain really fast. Okay. Bruce Willis. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. More than Pulp Fiction. Just let me do a little bit of Bruce Willis talk. No, Bruce Willis, just go down his IMDb. Almost every movie he makes after this, up until Pulp Fiction, is the worst movie made by a good director. You've got Michael Lehman, who made Heathers and then makes Hudson Hawk. You've got Robert Benton, who worked on Bonnie and Clyde, who makes Billy Bathgate. You've got The Bonfire of the Vanities, this Brian De Palma fuck-up. You've got Look Who's Talking 2, Amy Heckerling, who made Look Who's Talking and Clueless. You've got, down the line, Mortal Thoughts. All these movies from 88 to 94. Mark Thoughts is bad. He's like Zool from Ghostbusters. It's crazy. He kills everything. And he maintains his striking distance. He's got all these, Color of Night, North. All of these movies are terrible. Hold on. You're going to ride for Color of Night? Nope. Color of Night. Striking Distance is a good movie. Okay. Okay. That is the best. Isn't that the one with Sarah Jessica Parker? That's the best Pittsburgh Coast Guard movie ever. It's Rowdy Harrington's worst movie. Let me just. I would ride for Color of Night, which in the 90s was one of the great, like, late night Skinamax mainstream movies. Yeah. That and Silver. Yeah. Color of Night, Jade, Silver. That was a basic instinct ripoff there. Bruce, like, I remember seeing that with my friend Nick Aida in Massachusetts. And Bruce Willis' cock just comes flying out in the pool on the big 50-foot screen. It's like, come on, Bruce. Sorry, it's not Silver. It's Sliver. It was not happening. Is your plan here every time you and I are on a podcast together to just talk about an actor's dick? Is that something that you want to do? I'm saying it comes flying out, Coronet. I didn't enjoy it. But the thing is, is like, it sounds like a criticism and it sounds like he torpedoes these movies. He doesn't. He actually has this really cool reputation for working with interesting directors at the right time in their careers. He works with Terry Gilliam. He works with, obviously, Tarantino. He makes The Fifth Element. He makes all these really interesting movies. And we think of him as kind of this expired action star, in part because of Die Hard. But Bruce Willis has had a pretty fascinating career. Pulp Fiction revived his career in Travolta's. Because at that point, it was like, he can only do Die Hard and that's it. I also blame Demi Moore. I think maybe if he marries somebody differently, it's better scripts. No comment. No? All right. Apex Mountain for John McTiernan. Ooh. I like Predator more. He stole Demi Moore from Emilio Estevez. I'm going to say yes. This is the way I love that. No, he did. Billy will not acknowledge that we've moved on in the category. Save it for the Pittsburgh Coast Guard podcast. Emilio Estevez and Demi Moore were engaged. She broke it off for Bruce Willis. Just point that out. Are you more upset about Emilio Estevez and Demi Moore or Kiefer Sutherland and Julia Roberts? What's the bigger heartbreak for you? The Kiefer Sutherland thing was worse. Jason Patrick was the best man. He was the fucking runaway bride, man. Yeah. He was the best man. He took the bride. Yeah. Look what happened to him. You wind up serving in the Pittsburgh Coast Guard. Alan Richman, Apex Mountain. Yes. Alan Richman, yeah. And then 80s action movies. Apex Mountain for 80s action movies. Oh, man. There's a lot of good ones. I'm going to say yes, though. I say yes. 80s action movies. I think it might. I think it is. For Argyle, yeah. I think it's Argyle's Apex Mountain. This is McTiernan's Apex for me. But it's close. I mean, I like October. I like October more. Yeah. I have one. Bonnie Bedelia, yes or no? Isn't she in Presumed Innocent? I think Presumed Innocent's her Apex Mountain. Yeah, I like Bedelia. I'm a Bedelia. She's really good in that. Yeah. Heart like a wheel, I still think. Heart like a wheel. Yeah, Shirley Boe Doudy. Shirley Boe Doudy. Do you guys know who Bonnie Bedelia is the aunt of? No. Macaulay, Rory, and Kieran Culkin. Whoa. No way. What? She is the sister of Kit Culkin, father of the Culkin brood. And she dropped, I think Bedelia is her middle name. She dropped her last name professionally. Sean, are you saying that in some way- This ties into succession? The McLean-Gennaro family is related to the McAllister family in Chicago. It's a fact. And the Roy family. In movie universe. Yeah. In the Christmas movie universe. Yeah. They're all connected. Yeah. They should do a Home Alone sequel where they go visit Uncle John and Aunt Holly in LA. That would be good. Yeah. And Kieran could go, heard you ate your own load. Oh my God. What? There's only like 900,000 people who watch Succession and I don't know how many people have seen Die Hard. So then it's just going to be really weird that you said that. For the crossover, for this Die Hard Succession crossover people, great joke. Yeah. That's a great joke. LOL. All right. I need to do unanswerable questions right now. There is a very important scene in this movie to me that a lot of people don't really notice. And it's when Theo walks into the lobby of the Nakatomi Plaza describing a basketball play. Right. Last night. Goes to Worthy. First of all, no one's ever talked about basketball in this way. If I ever walked up Jason and Sean, two people I talked to almost as much as anyone else in my life, if I ever walked into either of their offices and I was like, last night, Ben Simmons gets a steal, passes it to Robert Covington, gets it back, throws it over to Joe Embiid, two points. You guys would be like, get the fuck out of the office. Have a cup of coffee, do whatever you need to do. You've lost your ability to appropriately tell a story. But that didn't stop me from trying to figure out what game he was talking about last night. All right, great. So I looked up basketball reference. Die Hard was shot from November of 87 to March of 88, which corresponds with a 15 game winning streak for the Lakers. Yeah. I think that he is talking about a game that happened, if I'm correct, on December 11th when the Lakers beat the Celtics 115-114, December 11th, 1987. Magic bank shot to win the game, right?
79:59 – 82:45… Shepard. He's dealing, he stole Demi Moore from Emilio Estevez. He's working 20 hours a day. He's got blood on his feet. What a stretch for him. So it is Apex Mountain. Best quote. These are just absolute barn burners. Come out to the coast. We'll get together. Have a few laughs. Yeah, it was great. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. Just like fucking Saigon. Hey, Slick. A couple of that I'd rather not say on a podcast, maybe. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker was the iconic line. Was great in the moment. If you watch the trailer and then even the commercials that they do at the time, they did a really nice job of …
The whole segment, as transcribed
And also married Demi Moore during the shoot. Action pack. What a flex for my guy. He's dealing with Seville Shepard. He's dealing, he stole Demi Moore from Emilio Estevez. He's working 20 hours a day. He's got blood on his feet. What a stretch for him. So it is Apex Mountain. Best quote. These are just absolute barn burners. Come out to the coast. We'll get together. Have a few laughs. Yeah, it was great. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. Just like fucking Saigon. Hey, Slick. A couple of that I'd rather not say on a podcast, maybe. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker was the iconic line. Was great in the moment. If you watch the trailer and then even the commercials that they do at the time, they did a really nice job of cutting out right before he says the swear. But it gives you the intent of it. In the edited version, they usually put like an explosion or like a bullet sound, like a firing gun for the motherfucker if you catch it on like TNT. Oh, yeah. It always hurts. You guys have any of the best quotes you want to add? No, you hit them. You can't top Yippee-ki-yay. It's boring, but it's iconic. I think Rickman gets a lot of lines. You mentioned the earlier one. Alexander. You know, the benefits of an education. And also, I just love the whole sequence when he essentially introduces himself as like this priest-like figure in front of the whole staff. Oh, he's like, nice suit. Yeah. Yeah, but I think that Come Out to the Coast, We'll Get Together, Have a Few Laughs is my favorite. We left out one category that I think is important. Okay. Danny Trejo, Steve Buscemi, or Michael K. Williams. Who would have fit in this movie the best? I'm actually shocked Trejo's not in this movie. I think all three of them could have been Gruber's crew. I think Michael K. Williams would have been the best one for this. Okay. He easily could have been in that crew in nine different ways. Where did Gruber find this multinational group of terrorists? It's always a great question. Yeah. I think that is guys. Where do you find terrorist henchmen? Who are these guys? Craigslist? There's got to be conventions of some kind. We can't even. I was going to say message boards, but they didn't have them back then. We can't even find a basketball writer. But if you're doing a lot of work for fallen Eastern European governments, you meet people, you know? Yeah. Okay. Sure. Hans is like. You meet him in the Pittsburgh Coast Guard. What do you want me to tell you? I don't know. Hans is like, Carl, do we have a deal? And he's like, you've got to hire my brother. He's great. He really needs a chance. He's done some smaller terrorist stuff. I think he's ready to blast them. They're the Morris twins of the terrorist world. We have like sort of a duo routine when we're cutting telephone wires. I use a chainsaw. He's very precise. Then he meets his brother and his brother's like, hey, I went to college with this guy, Bob. He'll be great. He knows how to drive an ambulance. So let's wrap up with this.
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