Apex Mountain on The Rewatchables
10:00 – 12:46… to get to them later. Shay. Hey. Yep. I'm just going to read to you this Wikipedia sentence. Go for it. And you tell me if Wikipedia peaks right here. It's Apex Mountain. Apex Wikipedia. This is its description of Predator. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as the leader of an elite paramilitary rescue team on a mission to save hostages in guerrilla-held territory in a Central American rainforest who encounter the deadly predator, a technologically advanced alien who stalks and hunts them down. Do you think this was pitched this way in the room? And when did they buy the pitch? Like, halfway through that …
The whole segment, as transcribed
There's a lot of things I'm excited about for this podcast, but Shay's thoughts on Poncho are way, way up there. We're going to get to them later. Shay. Hey. Yep. I'm just going to read to you this Wikipedia sentence. Go for it. And you tell me if Wikipedia peaks right here. It's Apex Mountain. Apex Wikipedia. This is its description of Predator. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as the leader of an elite paramilitary rescue team on a mission to save hostages in guerrilla-held territory in a Central American rainforest who encounter the deadly predator, a technologically advanced alien who stalks and hunts them down. Do you think this was pitched this way in the room? And when did they buy the pitch? Like, halfway through that sentence? Or did the person have to take, the studio executive, like, you've been in a couple of those meetings, Shay. Did the guy have to, like, take a break, like, light a cigarette and just be like, I can't believe what just happened. You've blown my mind. What transpires in the pitch of that? It's got to be perfect. Yeah, they walked in and they're like, listen, it's Arnold and an alien in a jungle. And they fight. And then the guy just fucking had an orgasm. He said, here's buddy. And he passed out. And they woke him up 25 minutes later. The producer looks at his pile of cocaine and he's like, this is pretty good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, take a big sniff. One thing I didn't understand about this, and this is one of the many reasons I think Fast and Furious that has, they're making the ninth one. We'll litigate the trailer some other time. But Kyle, the concept of basically a gang, a group of dudes, a bunch of muscle guys, people fill different roles. Predator nails this. Why didn't we have more of these? Why weren't there more movies where you just put six guys together and they have to do something? I mean, if you think about it, you have the cool guy and then you have the smart guy and then you have the nerd. It's kind of like Breakfast Club with machine guns. There's each little niche is filled. And it's like when Billy finally dies, you're like, oh, now they're really fucked because this was the smart guy. They needed him. And I don't know why. It's a perfect formula. Glasses guy, ray guy, huge machine gun guy. And it's almost like a video game a little bit, but that's why I love it. Like you feel like you're playing it as you watch it. Basically, that became Expendables, right? This was the formula where probably somebody had the conversation like the one we're having now. And he says, my men are not Expendable in the movie. And then eventually they are. It's a throwback to the Dirty Dozen. It's a throwback to the Professionals. I mean, you can tell McTiernan grew up watching those movies, watching the Men on a Mission movies, and then he just applies it to like a totally like widescreen blockbuster format. Well, what's fascinating about this is, we'll get to it in the research, but like they're
70:10 – 78:32… he was, I think he was playing, I guess, Harry in the TV show. He played Harry in that movie. And that was it. That was how he died. So that was a bummer. Apex Mountain. Arnold Schwarzenegger. No. The answer is no. We've already litigated this. The answer is no, but I would argue yes. That's how I feel about it. Well, Shay, I remember when you, I remember you said that you, that you said the predator is your favorite Arnold movie. And yes, Bill and I were kind of like, is it definitely better than T2? You say, you say yes. I agree. I agree with Shay that predators. Let's go Christopher Ryan. I would say …
The whole segment, as transcribed
He contracted HIV while receiving a blood transfusion on the set of Harry and the Hendersons. Oh my God. It's fucking terrible. So yeah, he was, I think he was playing, I guess, Harry in the TV show. He played Harry in that movie. And that was it. That was how he died. So that was a bummer. Apex Mountain. Arnold Schwarzenegger. No. The answer is no. We've already litigated this. The answer is no, but I would argue yes. That's how I feel about it. Well, Shay, I remember when you, I remember you said that you, that you said the predator is your favorite Arnold movie. And yes, Bill and I were kind of like, is it definitely better than T2? You say, you say yes. I agree. I agree with Shay that predators. Let's go Christopher Ryan. I would say that this is Apex Mountain for Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, but not for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh, I like that. It's a great answer. I think that's the correct answer. Carl Weathers. Yes. No, no. Oh, I guess. This is a great highlight reel moment, but it can be Apex Mountain. He's put down four Rockies. He had a great test scene in Rocky four. He has predator and action Jackson back to back right here. Predator leads to action Jackson. Yeah. He becomes. I don't think so though. Okay. Goddamn alligator bit my hand off. Chubbs too. Jesse, the body of Ventura. I think, yes. More than being the governor of Minnesota. Minnesota. Was that an Apex or was that an A deer? 12 minutes. He was the governor of Minnesota for four years. But he was simultaneously like the Charles Barkley of the WWE at this point. Okay. There's a case. Sonny Landum. Probably. I think, yeah, I'm going to, yeah, this is, this is a yes. It sounds like personally he was, he was going on a downward trajectory, but yeah, like this movie, like he's awesome in this movie. This is the first movie I think of when I hear the name Sonny Landum. Bill Duke. No deep cover. No. Yeah. Okay. Um, guys dropping from a helicopter and camouflage. Yes. I was trying to think, is there a better moment of that ever? Did they do that in platoon? I don't know. Maybe. It's not near as fun. No, it's not as heavy. This is as fun as it gets. This seemed like scarier than when they normally do this in movies where you're kind of watching this go, how the fuck are they doing this? Where they're just dropping ropes and the guys are just kind of, it seems like they're free falling down. I know they didn't do that. Uh, I'm going to say apex. Yes. For jungle aliens. Yeah. Alpedia Carrillo. I'm going to say yes. Body butter. I still feel like it's fast five. Rock is just hot tub. Body buttering that movie for two hours. He's just climbing and a vat of body butter each scene. The only body butter argument for predator bill would be when they're doing that ridiculous DIY trap, where they're pulling down the tree. Yeah. And, and, and Dutch says to Dylan, why don't you stop complaining and help? The next time we see Dylan, he has decided to take off his shirt completely. And he is just lathered as shit. He looks great. Superfluous, but that's the butter. Great. Great point. This leads me to one of the most important apex mountain questions ever dissected. Okay. Chris, I don't know if you're ready for this. Okay. You've done, we've done a lot of apex mountains together. This is going to be a hard one. And we have a complete and total handle on what apex mountain is. That's what people love about this. At this point, we're headed toward 200 movies. We do. Was this the apex mountain for Carl Weathers death scenes? Here are the nominees. Go for it. Rocky four. Mm-hmm. Predator and happy Gilmore. Is this. Carl Weathers, ironically has had three of the greatest deaths. Right. I would say those are three of the 10 most important death scenes. Is he the Daniel day Lewis of dying? Hmm. He needs one more for the Mount Rushmore. I don't know. Maybe there was another one died, but anyway, what was his best death scene? So the candidates just going through them. Happy Gilmore. Um, he sees the alligator that bit his arm off and gets so scared, flies backwards out the window. Rocky four. Rocky doesn't throw the damn towel. Partly Apollo's fault. I still feel like Apollo was asking for it in a lot of ways, but Rocky, the blood's on his hands too. Is there a doctor here? And then, and then predator. Um, it's like a 12 second death scene. His arms off his, his severed arm shooting stuff. He's swinging. He loses one arm. Yeah. They go into slow motion. It's they, they really draw it out. I feel like this is the winner. Hmm. I, I, I have to, I have to go with Rocky four because you expect everybody to die. It's so emotional. It's so emotional. Rocky four is so emotional. Yeah. Specifically the moment when they show like a, from far away and his, and his body like shakes, tremble like afterward. And you're like, Oh God, something, something's really, really bad. So if, and also if you're sprinkling in the aftermath where Rocky's like, somebody get up to call doctor. And, and, and Drago sneering at him. And if he does, he does. And I guess that was a better scene. Kyle, you're good with that, right? Well, listen, when the predator comes with that blade that we've not seen the blade before, I'm a holy shit. That thing is cool. But when they end the Rocky four scene and there's chaos, you think that the next scene is going to be in a hospital. It's at a cemetery. And you're like, Apollo died. That was nuts. Yeah. It's, it's still startling. 35 years later. It's hard to watch. That got the audible gasp in the theater where people are like, Oh, it was like one of those. What just, no. Um, picking nets. I don't know which one of the three to ask this question to. I got a couple of, of apex mountains. Can I add them? Can I add them in here? Please do. Okay. Uh, Alabama ticks. It's gotta be an apex mountain for Alabama ticks. Good one. Um, self-sacrifice. Is this up there? I, for me, it's this Billy, Billy. Yeah. And, and like, and, and, and Bruce Willis and Armageddon. Those are, those are, those are my two. And then, and this, this, this made me very happy because I didn't remember that this happened, but you watch the whole movie, you watch all of these people you care about die. Um, you're just completely drained. And then the end of credits scene that they do, it's not like shots from the movie they're doing. Here's who the character was. They look at the camera. They smile. It is the best from a different galaxy. That it made me feel so good. How did we not mention that yet? We're like an hour 10 in the best part is Arnold doesn't do it. Arnold's like, yeah, he's the only one. He's the only one. Anna looks up like she's, she's been in like a romantic comedy for the last two hours. She's just like, Hey, the Carl Weathers one is the one that just, he's holding his gun and just gives you that million dollar smile. It made me feel really great. You do who wins the movie. Like it should almost be who wins the closing credits and wet. I mean, Poncho winks and weathers milk it. Understand like this movie we just saw for almost two hours. These guys just get slaughtered in brutal fashion. We just saw Jesse Ventura's chest explode. Yeah. Roll the credits and it's show me that smile. Okay. What the hell was that? They should have made it. It should be like in some guild that they have to do this. No matter what the movie is for every single movie. Like at the end of marriage story, they should have to be like, Adam Driver. And he just looks at the camera and goes, pew. Like they should have to do it. Cause this is the ultimate test of whether or not the movie was good. Is if you can get through this scene, this end credit sequence and not be like, I'm out. I can't believe that that happened. It's so good. Well, you know, Top Gun, Top Gun did it the year before. And was kind of the OG for this category. And it seems like it was a little, almost a wink to that, but my favorite closing credits ever version of this only, probably Chris only saw this was victory was sliced alone. Yeah. When they cut back to show who all the soccer players were. And it's like a who's who of all the best soccer players in the late seventies, early eighties. And they're all from different countries. And I just, it's got the music. It's really good. Thumbs up. Picky Nets. Why was Arnold named Dutch? And you guys want to take this? What was his last name?
91:28 – 94:17… the office where I just start shaving in meetings. With no shaving cream or anything. Just like a single-blade razor on your skin. We should have put that in Apex Mountain. Nervous shaving should have been in Apex Mountain. It's probably the key to that. Kyle, what would you take? I was going to say Painless 2 and just bring it home and make it a big immersion blender and let my kids ride on it. Make it like a sous vide. Since you took that one, Bill, it's big enough. I think I'll go with just something cool. All I want is a piece of Mac, of Bill Duke. I think he's the best part of the movie. When he says …
The whole segment, as transcribed
I would go with Max Razor. I'm going to start doing that when we're back in the office where I just start shaving in meetings. With no shaving cream or anything. Just like a single-blade razor on your skin. We should have put that in Apex Mountain. Nervous shaving should have been in Apex Mountain. It's probably the key to that. Kyle, what would you take? I was going to say Painless 2 and just bring it home and make it a big immersion blender and let my kids ride on it. Make it like a sous vide. Since you took that one, Bill, it's big enough. I think I'll go with just something cool. All I want is a piece of Mac, of Bill Duke. I think he's the best part of the movie. When he says goodbye to Blaine, he puts that cool little flask right down on his chin. I would take the flask. By the way, Blaine drinking while he wields old Painless 2, it's a great recipe. Shay, what did you pick? I want the mask. How does nobody pick the Predator mask? Give me that one. It's a great choice. I don't know where you'd put it that it wouldn't be disorienting and unhappy. That's what I would put it on my face. Who won the movie Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yeah. Unless you guys have another candidate. I don't. Bill Duke, you could argue. My take very quickly is- Argue, Kyle. I don't think Sly Stallone wins Rocky IV. My criteria for this category is when you're driving home from the movie, from the theater, who are you talking about? Rocky IV, I think you're talking about Dolph Lundgren. In this movie, you've seen Arnold already. You're like, that guy with those crazy eyes, that Bill Duke guy was fucking awesome. And he has a whole arc. And that line where he goes, he was my friend. I mean, that is Oscar clip. I think Bill Duke wins the movie. I'm just going to go on an outlier. And I got Mac in this movie. Wow. I do. I love it. I love it. I love it. I can't get there quite myself, but I love it, Kyle. Why don't you give him Dan Waiters then? Yeah. But he's- He's saving it for this one. Kyle's saying he's the soul of the movie. I kind of buy it, man. He's clearly the best actor in the movie. 2021, what a year for Bill Duke on the rewatchables. Yeah. And what a year for action movies. This was an incredibly influential one. And this one was also, we should mention, there's a prototype that now comes out between this and Commando, where now we're, this is the next seven years of big hero, some funny one-liners, eclectic cast. It's also the very, very, very tight premise. The blank in the blank. It's like the guy in the skyscraper. It's the great soldier in the jungle. It's like, what can you tell me in an elevator that I will make this movie for $80 million? My last question is for Shay. Shay, are we dropping people in the jungle enough for action movies? I feel like we're late.
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